Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: stonethecrows on July 02, 2019, 02:37:29 pm
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For those of you in a hurry or are too mean to buy polish , you can use the inside of a banana skin to clean your shops. Apply all over the shoe and buff with a cloth.
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A baby wipe does me.
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Useless fact
An orish man invented the ejector seat.... An an another invented guided torpedo.....
Both accessories I wish I had in me car....
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OK How about this one then.
For 2 minutes rub the inside of the banana peel on the surface of your teeth nightly before brushing your teeth.
Repeat for 2 weeks or more for noticeable results.
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Useless fact
An orish man invented the ejector seat.... An an another invented guided torpedo.....
Both accessories I wish I had in me car....
Is the injector seat for your side for when you have a pain in your ring listening to the customers ?
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And what about this way of earning extra cash
"We are seeking healthy volunteer donors to provide life-saving treatment for people with C. difficile infection. As a reimbursement for their commitment, donors are paid $40 per donation of stool."
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Loada shit.
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Loada shit.
Suppose your right, crap money for that job
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For those of you in a hurry or are too mean to buy polish , you can use the inside of a banana skin to clean your shops. Apply all over the shoe and buff with a cloth.
What if you dont have a shop?
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A fact is just the starting point for telling a lie .
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For those of you in a hurry or are too mean to buy polish , you can use the inside of a banana skin to clean your shops. Apply all over the shoe and buff with a cloth.
What if you dont have a shop?
Opps Shoes
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
Are you taking the piss?
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
As a Psoriasis sufferer, Stoney, I would agree, except, the urea should be collected from a female if you are dabbing it on a male...the reason so many men have enlarged prostates is because they ingest so many female hormones...treat fire with fire. Get her to piss into a bucket through a muslin fabric. Leave it sit for a day or so, and take some Saw Palemetto tabs with a glass of water before applying it to your skin. Takes a few indepth attempts but it does work for those who suffer from inflammation of the skin etc...
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Golden shower anyone?
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
As a Psoriasis sufferer, Stoney, I would agree, except, the urea should be collected from a female if you are dabbing it on a male...the reason so many men have enlarged prostates is because they ingest so many female hormones...treat fire with fire. Get her to piss into a bucket through a muslin fabric. Leave it sit for a day or so, and take some Saw Palemetto tabs with a glass of water before applying it to your skin. Takes a few indepth attempts but it does work for those who suffer from inflammation of the skin etc...
Or buy a tube of Hydrocortisone for a couple of Euro.
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
Urine fine form today STC! 8)
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Pissed off so taught I'd look up some shit facts
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
As a Psoriasis sufferer, Stoney, I would agree, except, the urea should be collected from a female if you are dabbing it on a male...the reason so many men have enlarged prostates is because they ingest so many female hormones...treat fire with fire. Get her to piss into a bucket through a muslin fabric. Leave it sit for a day or so, and take some Saw Palemetto tabs with a glass of water before applying it to your skin. Takes a few indepth attempts but it does work for those who suffer from inflammation of the skin etc...
Or buy a tube of Hydrocortisone for a couple of Euro.
Who's your supplier? Mine costs me a ton a month?...Not Dermo, from the Vate? Or, perhaps,,,,Dovo from the Bet?
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And what about this fckn bril
Camouflage:
The Allies discovered their habit of intentionally running tanks over piles of the droppings for good luck. So the Allies developed and planted land mines that looked like camel dung! When the Germans caught on to the trick, they began to avoid fresh piles of camel manure. In turn, the Allies caught on and began to make mines that looked like camel dung that had already been run over by a tank and therefore seemed safe enough to a Nazi driver. Genius
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If you've a bad back or stiff legs, place a plastic bag on the car seat and you can rotate easily into position.
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If you've a bad back or stiff legs, place a plastic bag on the car seat and you can rotate easily into position.
And if your an ugly cnut you can always put it over your head rofl
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If you've a bad back or stiff legs, place a plastic bag on the car seat and you can rotate easily into position.
And if your an ugly cnut you can always put it over your head rofl
Rhetorical ceist.....he is an ugly cunt but a a very wealthy one..........
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very interesting fact.
if sperm is frozen it can stay dormant in stasis indefinitely.
the longest recorded instance is 20 years over in America.
after being frozen in time for two decades when gradually heated to body temperature again they start squiggling back to life.
a sample was taking from a chap and freezed in liquid nitrogen. 20 years later it was thawed and used to impregnate his partner.
I think that's incredible.
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The coordinate for the great pyramids
29.9792° N,
Speed of light
299 792 km /second
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very interesting fact.
if sperm is frozen it can stay dormant in stasis indefinitely.
the longest recorded instance is 20 years over in America.
after being frozen in time for two decades when gradually heated to body temperature again they start squiggling back to life.
a sample was taking from a chap and freezed in liquid nitrogen. 20 years later it was thawed and used to impregnate his partner.
I think that's incredible.
Id like to see them resurrect these seamen
https://www.thejournal.ie/russian-submersible-fire-barents-sea-4706649-Jul2019/ (https://www.thejournal.ie/russian-submersible-fire-barents-sea-4706649-Jul2019/)
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A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a large evening ashore.
As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself.
Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, "Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting!"
The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why?
"Well Sir, when we got you undressed we found that he'd also shit in your pants"
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Useful fact or tip of the day.
If you are passing Dealz go in, buy a pair of sandwiches for 1:50. Better than paying 4 euros later on when your feeling snacky.
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
As a Psoriasis sufferer, Stoney, I would agree, except, the urea should be collected from a female if you are dabbing it on a male...the reason so many men have enlarged prostates is because they ingest so many female hormones...treat fire with fire. Get her to piss into a bucket through a muslin fabric. Leave it sit for a day or so, and take some Saw Palemetto tabs with a glass of water before applying it to your skin. Takes a few indepth attempts but it does work for those who suffer from inflammation of the skin etc...
Or buy a tube of Hydrocortisone for a couple of Euro.
Who's your supplier? Mine costs me a ton a month?...Not Dermo, from the Vate? Or, perhaps,,,,Dovo from the Bet?
Hydrocortosyl 1%. Cheap though, don't know the exact price.
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very interesting fact.
if sperm is frozen it can stay dormant in stasis indefinitely.
the longest recorded instance is 20 years over in America.
after being frozen in time for two decades when gradually heated to body temperature again they start squiggling back to life.
a sample was taking from a chap and freezed in liquid nitrogen. 20 years later it was thawed and used to impregnate his partner.
I think that's incredible.
Known in certain communities as Ice Pops! 8)
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very interesting fact.
if sperm is frozen it can stay dormant in stasis indefinitely.
the longest recorded instance is 20 years over in America.
after being frozen in time for two decades when gradually heated to body temperature again they start squiggling back to life.
a sample was taking from a chap and freezed in liquid nitrogen. 20 years later it was thawed and used to impregnate his partner.
I think that's incredible.
Known uncertain communities as Ice Pops! 8)
Useless fact... A female baby is born with all her eggs for her life..... So technically you we'r once in yur granny's whom....
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The human race produces approximately
1 million metric tonnes of gick every day
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
Are you taking the piss?
All mice are incontinent.. . They leave a trail of piss behind them every wer they go... The kestrel eyes developed to filter out ultraviolet light and can tell the age of the mice piss by the intensity of the light therefore knowing if the little cnut is close by.....
now.... .even David Attenborough wudnt know that.......
Dopey Owl cnut
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The nazis development a filter so that rommels army cud drink their own piss in North afrika.....
No wonder the poor cnuts lost
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
Are you taking the piss?
All mice are incontinent.. . They leave a trail of piss behind them every wer they go... The kestrel eyes developed to filter out ultraviolet light and can tell the age of the mice piss by the intensity of the light therefore knowing if the little cnut is close by.....
now.... .even David Attenborough wudnt know that.......
Dopey Owl cnut
That was referenced on The Science of Colour last night, BBC4.
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Golden shower anyone?
Give it a day Tony...and don't forget the muslim!!
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Some Creepy Facts:
The bite of the Brazilian wandering spider can cause long and painful erections, as well as other symptoms, in human males (save you buying viagra)
Male spiders weave a small “sperm” web. They then place a drop of semen on the web, suck it up with their pedipalps, and then use the pedipalp to insert the sperm into the female (shut up or I'll give ye's a bang of me Pedipalp)
Some male spiders give dead flies to the females as presents(Miserably cnuts)
Most spiders live alone, meeting other spiders only to mate. A few species of spiders are social and live in groups (Weirdo loners)
A female black widow needs to mate only once. After she has mated, she can produce eggs for the rest of her life, which is about 2 years (probably a lesso to start with !).
The venom of the female black widow is 15 times more powerful than the poison of a rattlesnake (1 good reason not to slag her about being a lesso)
and finally
There is a spider in Hawaii that looks like it's smiling. Dubbed the "Hawaiian happy-face spider," the cheerful-looking spider is under the threat of extinction (Happy cnut and so wud you be living in hawaii)
(https://i.postimg.cc/HrYh93Ly/Smiley-Spider.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/HrYh93Ly)
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Some Creepy Facts:
The bite of the Brazilian wandering spider can cause long and painful erections, as well as other symptoms, in human males (save you buying viagra)
Male spiders weave a small “sperm” web. They then place a drop of semen on the web, suck it up with their pedipalps, and then use the pedipalp to insert the sperm into the female (shut up or I'll give ye's a bang of me Pedipalp)
Some male spiders give dead flies to the females as presents(Miserably cnuts)
Most spiders live alone, meeting other spiders only to mate. A few species of spiders are social and live in groups (Weirdo loners)
A female black widow needs to mate only once. After she has mated, she can produce eggs for the rest of her life, which is about 2 years (probably a lesso to start with !).
The venom of the female black widow is 15 times more powerful than the poison of a rattlesnake (1 good reason not to slag her about being a lesso)
and finally
There is a spider in Hawaii that looks like it's smiling. Dubbed the "Hawaiian happy-face spider," the cheerful-looking spider is under the threat of extinction (Happy cnut and so wud you be living in hawaii)
(https://i.postimg.cc/HrYh93Ly/Smiley-Spider.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/HrYh93Ly)
Kermit the.....spider?
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Right side of your brain controld movement so left handed people are more arkward when it comes to using their hands .But the upside of this lack of movement means left handed snooker players are more acurate than right handers as Snooker demands less movement not more. Right handed Golfers are on average 6 shots better than lefties But left handed singers cannot hit top C Weird shit or what
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I'm a left handed snooker/pool player and a right handed swinger.....the way i'd hold a golf club.....i'd hold a mic in my left hand but play drums right handed....can kick ball with both feet but would be naturally left footed....pull me wire with me left hand.
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Sinister... from latin Sinistra=Left.
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If you’re not too squeamish, you can treat acne, eczema, and psoriasis by dabbing on a little urine using a clean, damp towel and leaving it on for a few minutes before rinsing it off. Be sure to collect the urine using the “clean-catch method,” that is, beginning to urinate and collecting it mid-stream. Morning urine is thought to be best for face treatments because the hormones become more concentrated overnight
Are you taking the piss?
All mice are incontinent.. . They leave a trail of piss behind them every wer they go... The kestrel eyes developed to filter out ultraviolet light and can tell the age of the mice piss by the intensity of the light therefore knowing if the little cnut is close by.....
now.... .even David Attenborough wudnt know that.......
Dopey Owl cnut
That was referenced on The Science of Colour last night, BBC4.
I don't have a telly
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Right side of your brain controld movement so left handed people are more arkward when it comes to using their hands .But the upside of this lack of movement means left handed snooker players are more acurate than right handers as Snooker demands less movement not more. Right handed Golfers are on average 6 shots better than lefties But left handed singers cannot hit top C Weird shit or what
Jim hendrix was left handed.....
Apparently left handed people die on average 9 yers earlier than right handed....
Most men die before their wives....
Because they want to
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Fer those of us a bit younger than ourselves, you can control your ejaculation most especially if'n you suffer from pre-mature ejaculation or from finding it hard to ejaculate at all, the doctors won't ever tell you this because they would lose their little honey-pot or golf trips that viagra pay fer them.
If you exercise your main sphincter muscle which is located between the end of your testicles and your anus, the one that tells you when to and not to piss, just flex it a few times nightly after going to bed, start slowly at about 10 to 15 flex's because it can get sore if over exercised and build up to about Thirty a night. DO NOT OVER EXERCISE. After a short period you should see results about controlling your ejaculate better.
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I'm a left handed snooker/pool player and a right handed swinger.....the way i'd hold a golf club.....i'd hold a mic in my left hand but play drums right handed....can kick ball with both feet but would be naturally left footed....pull me wire with me left hand.
Me too hal except for the playing the drums bit, at the moment im doing a bit of painting around the house and 90% of the time i use me left hand
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Fer those of us a bit younger than ourselves, you can control your ejaculation most especially if'n you suffer from pre-mature ejaculation or from finding it hard to ejaculate at all, the doctors won't ever tell you this because they would lose their little honey-pot or golf trips that viagra pay fer them.
If you exercise your main sphincter muscle which is located between the end of your testicles and your anus, the one that tells you when to and not to piss, just flex it a few times nightly after going to bed, start slowly at about 10 to 15 flex's because it can get sore if over exercised and build up to about Thirty a night. DO NOT OVER EXERCISE. After a short period you should see results about controlling your ejaculate better.
Super Ken , I'll tell me friend about this