Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: Rat Catcher on July 07, 2020, 02:55:38 pm
-
Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
Wash your hands.
-
Would the atheists just ignore the godliness then?
-
Cleanliness is next to impossible
-
Cleanliness is next to impossible
You'll have it down to a fine art by the time a covid vaccine is found!! lol
-
Cleanliness is next to impossible
You'll have it down to a fine art by the time a covid vaccine is found!! lol
Car interior has never been cleaner, still it's mainly a spray of aerosol disinfectant and a quick wipe of the touched areas between jobs, hoover it out and full wipe down at the end of every shift (used to be every 2 or 3 days)
-
If only some drivers would take their personal hygiene as serious!!
-
Cleanliness is next to impossible
In your dictionary it probably is! 8)
-
My hands have seen more water in the last 3 months than the last half century combined.
-
They haven't.
-
Believe it or not Mr Catcher. Feels like a lifetime of hand-washing at this stage.
-
But your hands can't see. With my OCD I always washed my hands at every opportunity, often at the kitchen sink with mild green Fairy liquid... not good for your skin though.
-
Godliness is next to nothing!
-
The Atheist and the Bear
One beautiful morning, an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring natures surroundings...
He looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled...
He saw the river glisten and the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside...
He thought to himself that mother nature had made a true and wonderful world...
The atheist had walked a little further down the track he had taken when suddenly a bear jumped out of the bushes only a few yards ahead of him and started growling, looking hungry and ran quickly towards him...
Seeing the big bear bounding towards him he screamed in horror and started running as fast as he could away from the bear...
Knowing that the bear would catch up to him and he had no chance, the atheist soon ran out of breath and in a few paces fell to the ground...
As the bears shadow fell upon his face and his paws come down upon his chest, the atheist screamed, "Oh help me God!"
Suddenly the trees that he so much admired stopped swaying...
The river he loved suddenly stopped flowing...
And the sky opened up and a voice begun to speak...
"I am God, and even though you don’t believe in me, I am here for every being on this earth."
The atheist felt relieved a little bit and asked God, "I’m sort of in this situation, I’m only asking if you can help me get out of it."
God thought for a moment and said...
"I will give you one wish to help you and that is all, you may proceed with this wish."
The atheist thought about this wish for a moment and then spoke to God...
"Well I don’t really want to become a religious person, so I wish the bear to become religious himself."
God spoke...
"So be it done."
Suddenly the sky closed up...
The river turned back into its flowing glory...
The trees began to sway again...
And the bear clapped his paws together and said...
"Thank you God for this meal I’m about to receive!"
-
Please god save me....from those jaysus "jokes"!!
-
Its a cracker
-
Please god save me....from those jaysus "jokes"!!
Keep praying !
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
Throw in a few candles and I'll see
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
-
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
For who...the oul wan next door? lol
-
If there was a God why ?
If there wasent a God why not ?
Was the first bet Patrick of Judaia offered odds on .Now you can bet on will it or will it not Snow on Christmas .How we have evolved .
Now if there really was a God wouldnt he be proud of our progress .
The 11th Commandment .Wash Thy hands .
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
Wat movie is that from marko? I've bein trying to find out for years a scene I seen one nite long ago wit him Carey in it that was a very strange phenomenon
-
How did yu know about that strange event that happened to me 12 years ago marko ? .....I told yis about me dream the night before I got married......in the cathedral wer I got lifted floated up into the rafters because i didnt believe in the apparition of the midgit wit the lead around the monkey's neck under the altar at saint Peter's basilica and all the monks wer giving out to me
...I woke up in a sweat and I switched on the telly and ther was Jim Carey floating inside a Buddhist monastery surrounded by monks talking to a monkey ........
It was an amazing coincidence that I'll never forget .......I'm absolutely certain that some spiritual being was warning me not to get married......
-
:-X
-
Jesus ....that's mad
-
Occi your talking to yourself again
-
I'm absolutely certain that some spiritual being was warning me not to get married......
But ye did anyway...shudda stuck on Roxette...Listen to your Heart spirtual being in your head.
-
Occi your talking to yourself again
Ah... taxi chat is the only place I feel safe johnny to talk to meself
I'm only on here cause theres nobody else ...if ther was ide be takin away in the back of a van again .....
-
Occi your talking to yourself again
Ah... taxi chat is the only place I feel safe johnny to talk to meself
I'm only on here cause theres nobody else ...if ther was ide be takin away in the back of a van again .....
+1
-
Some makey up names but a true story Two old mates Bridie Nugent and Paddy Cluxton from the flats and the gaffs beside the flats were going to get married Church was booked reception in the Old Red Cow .Anyhoo they had their Stags and Hens and next morning Bridie climbs out of bed with a another mate from Ballyer and goes for a piss and to rince her fanny in the Wash hand basin when the Jacks door opens and her future husband is standing there in his jocks after spending the night with yer mans sister .The reception was cancelled and they lost 20% of the cost .but they went on the honeymoon as a holiday .Paddy fucked off to Buxton in England dont know whatever happened to her .
-
Occi your talking to yourself again
Ah... taxi chat is the only place I feel safe johnny to talk to meself
I'm only on here cause theres nobody else ...if ther was ide be takin away in the back of a van again .....
+1
BRILLIANT .
-
Some makey up names but a true story Two old mates Bridie Nugent and Paddy Cluxton from the flats and the gaffs beside the flats were going to get married Church was booked reception in the Old Red Cow .Anyhoo they had their Stags and Hens and next morning Bridie climbs out of bed with a another mate from Ballyer and goes for a piss and to rince her fanny in the Wash hand basin when the Jacks door opens and her future husband is standing there in his jocks after spending the night with yer mans sister .The reception was cancelled and they lost 20% of the cost .but they went on the honeymoon as a holiday .Paddy fucked off to Buxton in England dont know whatever happened to her .
A very fortunate lucky escape me tinks :)
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
Throw in a few candles and I'll see
Four candles?
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
Throw in a few candles and I'll see
Four candles?
Fork andles!!
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
Throw in a few candles and I'll see
Four candles?
Fork andles!!
Five Lamps for Hal
-
Haven't stopped.....is there anything to be said for another mass!!
Throw in a few candles and I'll see
Four candles?
Fork andles!!
Five Lamps for Hal
Ah...hang yer bollox out of it!!
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
Wat movie is that from marko? I've bein trying to find out for years a scene I seen one nite long ago wit him Carey in it that was a very strange phenomenon
The second Ace Ventura movie "When Nature Calls" yippee
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
Wat movie is that from marko? I've bein trying to find out for years a scene I seen one nite long ago wit him Carey in it that was a very strange phenomenon
The second Ace Ventura movie "When Nature Calls" yippee
Wow ...mystery solved
https://youtu.be/AHprZa-gB84
My dream
Thanks Marko
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
Wat movie is that from marko? I've bein trying to find out for years a scene I seen one nite long ago wit him Carey in it that was a very strange phenomenon
The second Ace Ventura movie "When Nature Calls" yippee
Wow ...mystery solved
https://youtu.be/A
My dream
Thanks Marko
You're welcome Octavius. ::clap
-
I used to be a Buddhist yers ago .....got very deep into meditation.. I meditation for hours on end but never quite reaching enlightenment but so close I used to be tears rolling down me face in the emptiness of me mind an almost total relaxation and oneness with the universe........
Then one day I got a pain in me bollix an baut a telly
Octy on the left :P
(https://i.postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR/ace.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/mPrC9fPR)
Wat movie is that from marko? I've bein trying to find out for years a scene I seen one nite long ago wit him Carey in it that was a very strange phenomenon
The second Ace Ventura movie "When Nature Calls" yippee
Wow ...mystery solved
https://youtu.be/A
My dream
Thanks Marko
You're welcome Octavius. ::clap
Ah Marko, super name for Ochy, sounds like a Roman Emperor , I can just see him now lying back on the Auld ones couch next door watching TV and her feeding him grapes and wine in a big Tin Mug.
-
And fanning him down with a big fukin leaf to keep him cool
-
And fanning him down with a big fukin leaf to keep him cool
In a nice long white see through neglishea , the lady that is not Ochy
-
Couldnt imagine ocky wearing a white negleshie,but then you never know
-
And fanning him down with a big fukin leaf to keep him cool
In a nice long white see through neglishea , the lady that is not Ochy
I've a new bird ....but I cant say any more bout it it's a secret ......dont tell the the owlone next door across the hall or the the owlone in the next door balcony in the next block or the owlone in the penthouse who hangs her knickers out on the balcony against the house rules .... :-X
-
Octavius and the ouldones from the different balconies... lol lol
(https://i.postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G/oct.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G)
-
Octavius and the ouldones from the different balconies... lol lol
(https://i.postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G/oct.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G)
Is the one with the beard a Lady Boy ?
-
Octavius and the ouldones from the different balconies... lol lol
(https://i.postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G/oct.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/YhBrsN3G)
Is the one with the beard a Lady Boy ?
They are grooming their leader before the arrival of the "Entertainment"....first served,first come.....