Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: john m on July 23, 2021, 04:31:48 pm
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Philip Ryan and Ralph Riegel
July 23 2021 02:11 PM
Every person who wants to eat or drink indoors will be required to give their name and phone number under new contact tracing rules.
At a meeting of the Working Group on Indoor Hospitality, the industry was told they will be required to ask every customer who sits inside for their name and phone number.
InFocus Podcast: Indoor dining: Is it a passport to discriminate?
In Focus · Indoor dining: Is it a passport to discriminate?
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Under the existing regulations only one member of a group is asked for their contact details.
The new rules for indoor dining will also see customers asked to show proof of immunity from coronavirus along with photo identification.
Businesses are being asked to anonymously record if customers have provided details of being vaccinated or recovered from Covid-19 in the last six months.
This will mean contact tracing details of customers will be recorded on one sheet of paper while a separate document will note that everyone at an individual table provided proof of immunity.
Restaurants, pubs and cafes have also been asked to police every entrance to their premises to ensure customers cannot walk in without first being checked for proof of immunity
This new rule is understood to have raised eyebrows among industry representative who only learned of the guideline on entrances today.
“It is going to be very hard for businesses to implement a policy like that,” a source at the meeting said.
Officials said the guidelines will advise that keeping tables two metres apart is best practice but one metre will be permitted.
There will be no separate table distances for people dining with unvaccinated children.
Six adults will be permitted per table but it is still unclear how many children will be allowed accompany them. However, unvaccinated children under 18 years old will be permitted to accompany adults when they are dining inside.
Failte Ireland is expected to publish the draft guidelines later on today ahead of indoor dining resuming on Monday.
Taoiseach Micheál Martin said he was very confident the public will fully comply with new indoor dining rules as he confirmed Ireland will have the fast running vaccination programme worldwide within the next 14 days.
Mr Martin, speaking in Cork, said the Government and health agencies had to trust the public in terms of the new regulations regarding indoor dining.
Those who dine indoors from Monday must either have proof of vaccination or recovery from Covid-19, have photo identification with them and every member of their group must give their names and phone numbers for contact tracing purposes.
"We (as individuals) have obligations to comply. I remember very similar conversations last year when we brought in a law that you had to wear a mask going into a retail store. All the interviews that morning were saying that this would not be enforced," he said.
"The same thing happened with public transport - people complied.
“We have to trust people as well."
Mr Martin said the Government was trying to balance the need to re-open the economy to people while also ensuring the maximum possible level of protection against Covid-19 is maintained.
"The Chief Medical Officer is of the view that the staff are better protected by just serving only vaccinated people in an indoor setting," he said.
"But that said, the vaccination programme is running very fast. We now, in the (next) two weeks, will have the fastest running vaccination programme in the world. Our uptake is very high as a people. We are ahead of schedule."
Last month, only Denmark had a higher vaccination rate than Ireland.
"There are opportunities now for 18-25 year olds who can register with the portal. We will be shortly moving to 16 to 18 year olds and NIAC will be giving advice then in respect of children and that will be in the next week or so.”
He said he wanted to male the point that the Government “really don’t want to be doing this.”
"We are in an unusual context. It is a pandemic. These are decisions one ordinarily would never have to contemplate."
He said it was about balancing the reopening of society with quality of life with public health.
"Those are the essential calls we have to make,” he said.
"NPHET has assured me that as an added protection outdoor hospitality will be more generally available. Indoor dining will be for the vaccinated."
The Taoiseach said he was also very confident about a successful autumn booster vaccination programme.
"Yes - we have already entered into a pre-purchase agreement.
"I pay tribute to all the people involved in the vaccination programme and to the Irish people themselves. We have one of the highest uptake rates and that is very positive.
"Already the HSE is planning the booster and on how we will administer that booster programme because we are now well beyond the half year stage.
"There are various studies around the efficacy and length of efficacy of the vaccine and so that will inform the assessments that will be made by the Task Force on Vaccination (TFV)."
SO YOU NEED TO GIVE A PHONE NUMBER CAN YOU CLAIM A TAX BREAK ON YOUR PHONE ? Sorry no Phone no Pint .
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Tomorrows Riot starts from Customs House @ 4oc .So some old buck living in a two roomed gaff on the side of a hill without tap water electricity or a Phone cant go for a pint .THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED .If you have a beer garden out the back you need a bouncer on that door a bouncer on the front door and loads of waiting staff because you cannot go to the bar yourself .Is every second urinal blocked for pissing to allow Social distancing .Hard to think this plan was drawn up by adults .If the Irish Council for Civil liberties are not in Court over the weekend fighting this they should be disbanded .
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If you go out for a smoke and the guy on the door doesn't remembered you then you have to do the whole ID thingy again rofl rofl
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You already leave your name and number at the door for contact tracing purposes.It was like that before Xmas too.
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You already leave your name and number at the door for contact tracing purposes.It was like that before Xmas too.
It use to be one of the Group now its everybody .I wonder will Noctors be opening?
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If you go out for a smoke and the guy on the door doesn't remembered you then you have to do the whole ID thingy again rofl rofl
They will stamp your Hand branded like a Jewish Prisoner how totally disrespectful to people to brand them to get a drink .
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As forcast these rules would not be released until the Courts were Closed .Fucking Shamefull carry on by a Democratic Government .
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Courts are not closed completely - there will be a judge on call if needed.
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Courts are not closed completely - there will be a judge on call if needed.
I hope there is a challenge .If a judge agrees to hear an appeal Im not sure if the Pubs can reopen as it would be sub Judice but if they are already open then they can stay open until a Judge makes his ruling .So it looks like this thing has been time managed to prevent a Judicial review .DEmocracy me bollox .
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Personally I wonder if many pubs will re-open. Will they get the staff? And who wants to drink indoors in this weather? Also, it's odd you can be an 18 year old waiter and be inside but the minute your shift finishes, you're breaking the law.
And is the pub liable if the 18 year old gets the virus? In a civil case, it's the balance of probabilities, not proof beyond doubt. So if an 18 year spent a year on the PUP and didn't catch the virus. But caught it within a week of going back to work... Kids live their life on the internet these days so could maybe prove his whereabouts/contacts through FB/instagram.
If I owned a pub, I'd be tempted to stay shut if I could and let the other pubs work it out first!
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Most pubs around/Near me have reopened.The only difference the new rules will mean is they'll have more capacity indoors while having bigger outdoor areas.They all seem eager to reopen more.Cant speak for outside of town.
Erm on here taking about civil liberties and democracy...the majority of the population is fully vaccinated.Why should those who choose not to take the vaccine get to hold everyone else back.
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Ok Merch you are a Hemophiliac you take an injection you bleed to death .How does this Democracy treat You ?Thats the problem Merch we are choosing to victimise people for our benefit
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The alternative is to keep everything closed for a few years.What's your solution John?
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The alternative is to keep everything closed for a few years.What's your solution John?
Mick from Cork and the Traitor are telling us we are vaxxing faster than the rest of the world so wait another few weeks until everybody has been offered a jab .We can sit in a Pub but not in a Church .We are victamising people .Why does the Law work ?Because the Law says it is better to see a hundred Guilty men go free than one innocent man go to jail .This government is condemning the innocent .It wont end well .
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I dunno if hemopheliacs can't take a vaccine buy you can be sure anyone with health issues are already being encouraged to stay away from crowds, even if they're vaccinated.They shouldn't be in the pub if they're bollixed.
It's a gradual reopening while the weather can accommodate it.Slowly people will accept there are gonna be more deaths and they need to take care of their vulnerable until this passes.Too many antivax loopers messing this up.
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Ok Merch you are a Hemophiliac you take an injection you bleed to death .How does this Democracy treat You ?Thats the problem Merch we are choosing to victimise people for our benefit
Ermy, at least use AIDS as an example. There's a good chance you can spell it. 8)
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Very nasty on this forum...ye have the other three lads who should just have a threesome and get it out of their system,then ye have the Harry Enfield "Loadsamoney" heads who have so much wonga they're burning it to keep cool,then ye have the heads down the rebel county with their VW ID4's and quaffing champers beside their Argos paddling pools telling themselves they deserve this while lookin down their noses on the poor unfortunates on the PUP(who were the real heroes of the last year n a bit)
Give yourselves a big pat on the back...yis feckin gobshites!!
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Antivax loopers or not wanting to take a vaccine development over 9 months where even the inventor of mrna technology advices people with a healthy immune system not to take it because only 20% stays at the point of injection and 80% of it goes around the body which is a first for a vaccine. It is technically a experimental drug until 2023 approved only for emergency use because it has an effect on covid 19. over a million have had vaccine injury and nearly 60k have died after taking it around the world. And the long term effects is unknown and its micro clots not the blood clots thats been on the news but micro clots that cant be picked up by scans the takes years to build up and block archeries thats been discovered now. But if a young person dies in 10 20 or 30 years time from a heart attack or stroke the people who pushed people to take a under trial vaccine will be dead and gone. Don't be getting your news from one source like rte,bbc etc who are just interested in ratings for there news programme to generate more ad revenue by frightening the shite of people for a virus had has a 98% to 99% survival rate. I'm seeing people in cars by them selves wearing masks cycling and walking by themselves wearing masks its gone mad. Plus we are the only country in Europe with no indoor dining for months now.
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Well Done 5 at least you are looking into it not just accepting the crap I am not antivax I was at one stage probably the youngest on here vaxxed .My issues are the COVID tracker app .IT dosent track COVID it tracks YOU .It knows where you are and who is close to you .Then you have Countries Like Greece the Home of Democracy demanding you Needle before Dinner or Uzo or you visit a Museume .Italy the First peoples Government the Roman Senate demanding you needle before you Pizza and Vino or go to the Opera .France the Birthplace of People Power Liberty ,Equality ,Fraternity ,No Vaxx no Liberty no baguettes no visit to the Eifell Tower .Then Ireland the little island that took on the might of the British Empire and broke it now being told by the Tourist board and a few Doctors we cant have a pint and a plate of Stew indoors if we are not needled .I really hope Europes Youth raise up burn and Bomb pubs and restaurants overthrow governments for this attempt at a Coup De Gras .The so called tracker app has what they call a Digital wallet ,thats where you upload your bar code .Whats to say that they dont make it mandatory for all Europeans to carry a health cert in their wallet and their bank card and drivers licence digital passport which is only a matter of time makes more sense and saves coin if your licenses and passport were digital carried on your phone .Handy for Policing your movements and who you meet or come into close contact with .The first country in Europe to have a Covid tracker app was Ireland but you would expect that all the Teck espionage companies have offices here .Our Government willingly rolled it out on behalf of the Big Tec firms but never believed in it ,they wouldnt even pay overtime rates over the Christmas Holidays to the people working the app .5 there are huge Civil liberties being eroded using this Covid thing as a pretext .
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Everything comes back to maths...60000 dead from vaccines(if that's true) in hundreds of millions is relatively little.
Erm just because you question everything doesn't mean you're being useful.
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Everything comes back to maths...60000 dead from vaccines(if that's true) in hundreds of millions is relatively little.
Erm just because you question everything doesn't mean you're being useful.
Questions everything, takes it anyway.
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Everything comes back to maths...60000 dead from vaccines(if that's true) in hundreds of millions is relatively little.
Erm just because you question everything doesn't mean you're being useful.
Questions everything, takes it anyway.
Your lack of Intelligence knows no floor .I dont question the Vaccine I question the removal of our rights and freedoms .You were quick to protest when they wanted you to pay for something you wanted (water) but you complain that people protest about getting something they dont want .(vaccines ) 1000 of people protesting in Dublin Today including parents and their children (Fucking nutjobs all of them according to you )
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@mercenary for hire, don't forget the million plus with vaccine injuries alot of them serious life changing cases. I hope it doesn't happen to someone close to you, then its not numbers anymore its personal like it is for the millions that know the 60k dead and the million plus injured.
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https://www.independent.ie/videos/thousands-protest-against-vaccine-passes-in-dublin-city-40686209.html (https://www.independent.ie/videos/thousands-protest-against-vaccine-passes-in-dublin-city-40686209.html) They all look like dangerous revolutionaries .Government definitly lost the people trying to please the publicans .Most Pubs wont reopen afraid if somebody gets the fever in their premises the Powdered Wigs and the Four Goldmines will become a home away from home as you get sued for compo .
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https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/asia-pacific/coronavirus-protests-against-vaccines-and-lockdown (https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/asia-pacific/coronavirus-protests-against-vaccines-and-lockdown) Irish times reporting from Paris but Ignore Irish Protests ?
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25% will not reopen indoor dining, says RAI chief (https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/0724/1237008-indoor-dining-cummins/)
Chief Executive of the Restaurants Association of Ireland Adrian Cummins has said that a quarter of Irish businesses will not reopen for indoor dining immediately. Bars and restaurants are preparing to restart indoor dining on Monday.
However, speaking on RTÉ's The Business, Mr Cummins said he estimates 25% of businesses are unwilling to operate under the current guidelines. Mr Cummins said: "That is my gut feeling based on listening to businesses." A lack of staff is the "single biggest issue" for the hospitality sector, he said. Mr Cummins added: "We don't have enough staff and we have to make sure we source as many as possible for our sector."
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todays protest
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https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/asia-pacific/coronavirus-protests-against-vaccines-and-lockdown (https://www.irishtimes.com/news/world/asia-pacific/coronavirus-protests-against-vaccines-and-lockdown) Irish times reporting from Paris but Ignore Irish Protests ?
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/large-crowd-gathers-in-dublin-to-protest-vaccine-cert-system-1.4629890 (https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ireland/irish-news/large-crowd-gathers-in-dublin-to-protest-vaccine-cert-system-1.4629890)
https://www.independent.ie/news/crowds-gather-for-anti-vaccine-protests-in-dublin-and-belfast-40686300.html (https://www.independent.ie/news/crowds-gather-for-anti-vaccine-protests-in-dublin-and-belfast-40686300.html)
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40344638.html (https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-40344638.html)
Newspapers have processes before they publish, they can't just post any ol shite on the internet.
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....the list of diseases that wer mostly eradicated in the 19th / 20th century because of vaccines enabled the population explosion of the past hundred years which ultimately lead to undeniable climate change ......
its interesting that anti vaxers for the most part from my observations also do not believe in climate change ..but science proves them wrong again ..I find it humorous that they do not realise that most of them if any would not exist if it where not for the advancement in science, medicine and vaccines ....
Science also proves climate change is real
.thermometers do not lie ...photographs of the past hundred years recording the advancement of desert and reduction of the polar ice caps do not lie , the recording of co2 emissions over millenia in the polar ice do not lie . The mean temp of this planet in the past 5 years even is evidence enough for anyone of sound mind to take heed of
you could argue we shud let everyone die naturally from a long list of disease which before vaccines killed as many as wer required to keep the human ape population in balance and harmony with the environment ........
we cud outlaw vaccines to enable population sustainability and the natural order to return and if not too late ...possibly ...but highly unlikely save life on this planet as we know it ......
the science that brought about the industrial revolution, advancement in medicine and the population explosion which caused Climate change ... also prevented this flu from killing 100s of millions .
you can argue quite rightly that vaccines are the biggest threat to all life on this planet .....but to argue that vaccines don't work
just doesn't add up ...
We are a victim of our own success .... I'm convinced we are looking at total annialation within this century or within the next .....now thers a conspiracy theory .....or is it? ???
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Its not a conspiracy theory,as this Civilisation has to end sometime! Every dog has its day!
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Occi read 1984 read Animal farm .You are even getting into the Groupthink that because somebody is not a Vaxxer they must be bad or deluded or misinformed .Think of some of the other Nutjobs that were against stuff like people telling you cigarettes cause cancer or Sugar causes diabetes or alcohol causes liver failure or car fumes will rot your lungs .Fucking Nonsence the whole lot of it wasent it ?
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Occi read 1984 read Animal farm .You are even getting into the Groupthink that because somebody is not a Vaxxer they must be bad or deluded or misinformed .Think of some of the other Nutjobs that were against stuff like people telling you cigarettes cause cancer or Sugar causes diabetes or alcohol causes liver failure or car fumes will rot your lungs .Fucking Nonsence the whole lot of it wasent it ?
Johnny .....I've never bean a "groupthinker".....
ive told ya before
I've bean called a mad cnut all me life.....I'm a loner , ostracised on the outside thank fuk all me life.......i like it that way cause I don't fit in with monkeys an ape types .......
Anti vaxers ? Ther just tryin to feel alive by swimming against the crowd.....most them are personality disordered ....not nessesssarily stupid but blinkered but always stuck in some
Childhood trauma cage or inherent physiologically induced boredom loop an must create drama to feel alive......the best way to do that is to play " the rebel" .....but to be a real renegade yu need original thought......an anti vaxers just follow the crowd that swims against the crowd ....Do ya know wat I mean like?
Poor cnuts :-\
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Erm what are ya on about I never protested about water.Water is cheap..They're the exact type of people who won't take the vaccine.All getting angry on Facebook together pulling each others plums..probably drive diesels too...I'd say yer on it everyday stirring shit..
And C5 me oul fella passed earlier this year with Covid related complications.He was bollixed anyway but Covid expedited his exit and the restrictions caused unnecessary stress..He was probably younger than most of you lads on here so be happy if yer not vaccinated(it's your choice after all) but hope that you'll survive it if you get a bad dose..Anyway no sympathy necessary just looking at both sides of the argument.
In the US the anti vaxxers are turning up in hospitals in increasing numbers.They're gonna be blamed for us being locked down for another few years if things go that way.
If I had my way I'd just let it rip.If you dont want a vaccine fair enough,it's your body but you're taking it to protect others too so it seems very selfish to be on the antivax team to me...I prefer to be able to get on a flight easily or eat/drink indoors.Barman last night was scanning our QR codes for practice and sees no major issues with the new rules.Just go with the flow lads most of yis will be six feet under in 30 years a little vaccine isn't gonna make much difference but a bad dose of covid might.
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Merch you and me would be in agreement when you say ...If I had my way I'd just let it rip.If you dont want a vaccine fair enough,it's your body but you're taking it to protect others too so it seems very selfish to be on the antivax team to me...I prefer to be able to get on a flight easily or eat/drink indoors.Barman last night was scanning our QR codes for practice and sees no major issues with the new rules.Just go with the flow lads most of yis will be six feet under in 30 years a little vaccine isn't gonna make much difference but a bad dose of covid might.
My problem is not with the vaccine it is with the way the European health barcode is being issued and exploited .The Irish Government lost a court case in making social welfare cards mandatory under GDPR they were banned but if Europe can impose enough conditions to move and enter on people then we will all VOLUNTARILY get an ID card in the guise of a Health card .The thing on your phone might one day hold your passport and your medical card and your R111 .That might sound a good thing until you turn up in A&E they scan your device and decide you might be to expensive to treat as they dont have the budget or they dont treat Junkies or Drunks or certain other ailments on ethical grounds .
How much do you think the Pint will Go up to cover the cost of extra staff .I doubt you will be able to get a Pint in Dublin for under a Fiver and probably nearer six by Christmas after the budget
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The prices are already up 10% where I go.Plus yer tipping another 10% minimum for mandatory table service so things have already gotten pricey.People will pay it with no other option available.I stopped complaining about drink prices 20 years ago,best not to think about it.Expensive pints arent as nice as cheap ones for some reason.
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The prices are already up 10% where I go.Plus yer tipping another 10% minimum for mandatory table service so things have already gotten pricey.People will pay it with no other option available.I stopped complaining about drink prices 20 years ago,best not to think about it.Expensive pints arent as nice as cheap ones for some reason.
I remember first pint I bought I was 14 in the Royal Oak in Parkgate Street where First Ireland is now 42 P .A few years later you could go out with £5 .4 pints ten Carrolls bus home chips and still have bet money for the next day .Me wages at the time was 38P an hour as an apprentice .You didnt need ID in them days to get into a pub .
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Another Expert who contradicts a different expert ..Ali Bracken and Hugh O’Connell
July 25 2021 02:30 AM
Children aged five and upwards must be considered for Covid-19 vaccines to protect the country from the risk of virus outbreaks, a leading infectious diseases expert has said.
As the country further re-opens pubs and restaurants tomorrow, Dr Paddy Mallon warned: “I think schools have the potential to be a problem.”
The UCD academic, who is an infectious disease specialist at St Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin, said schools reopening in six weeks have the potential to be problematic, describing them as a “ticking time bomb”.
SO this lad is a SPECIALIST not a lot of work for him then what was the last Infectious disease he dealth with TB in the 1940s
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Condolences on your father's passing MFH. There's no good time to lose one's dad, and probably none worse than now.
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Condolences on your father's passing MFH. There's no good time to lose one's dad, and probably none worse than now.
+1
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Ah thanks lads I dont really mention it for a reason but it's been a long time coming, and to be honest I was more upset about putting the dog down.Funny how the mind works.:-)
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Condolences on your Da....and the dog!!
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Ha ha no need Hal, thanks..this is spoiling the mood.Get back to insulting each other FFS.
He was a good dog though.Bastard left me on me own just as the pandemic kicked off.
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Condolences on your Da....and the dog!!
+1
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Ha ha no need Hal, thanks..this is spoiling the mood.Get back to insulting each other FFS.
He was a good dog though.Bastard left me on me own just as the pandemic kicked off.
Ah shur...ye still have herself...regardless of the hairdresser car!!
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BACK TO WORK ,,,,,,If your sick you wont be counted as sick .Fiddling the figures to cover their arses in case this goes wrong .
Senan Molony
July 26 2021 02:30 AM
Health experts have been told to exclude Covid-positive patients from daily case figures if they are not in hospital because of the viral infection.
Patients with appendicitis, for example, or an injury, but who happen to test positive for Covid-19, should be excluded from hospitalisation data, according to a Government letter sent to the National Public Health Emergency Team (Nphet).
Tánaiste Leo Varadkar, the minister in charge of enterprise, trade and employment, wants more accurate figures from Nphet on Covid-19 hospitalisations as the highly-infectious Delta variant is monitored.
He says people admitted with other complaints, illnesses and conditions, but who test positive for Covid-19 – often without symptoms – are being categorised as Covid-19 cases.
“There are essentially three categories and we should be able to quantify them,” he said.
“The first are those admitted with Covid and being treated for it; the second category are those admitted with something else but who got Covid in hospital and are now being treated for it, and the third are those admitted for something else, who were swabbed and found positive, but who are not being treated for it.”
Martin Fraser, secretary general at the Department of the Taoiseach, has written to Nphet seeking more detailed breakdowns to guide Government policy and to give a clearer picture of the Delta variant’s spread.
The letter suggests the daily data should only reflect people who go to hospital because of Covid
×
Ministers privately believe at least 10pc of Covid-19 patients are unaffected by serious symptoms, with a senior Government source telling the Irish Independent: “We don’t know the actual level. It could be higher than that.”
Another said: “What the Cabinet is seeking from the HSE is better data on the number of people who are actually in hospital being treated for Covid.”
Data from other countries suggest that as many as one in seven hospital patients are Covid-19 positive, with the news coming as a shock to many as they are or were asymptomatic.
A total of 1,126 new cases of Covid-19 were reported yesterday, with 123 patients with the virus in hospital, 22 of whom are in intensive care units.
Mr Varadkar said some people were in hospital “because their appendix burst or they broke a leg, or they’re in for a knee op. It’s not that they’re being treated for Covid.
“So it is essential that we need to find out better data in terms of hospitalisations as to who is actually in hospital because they’re being treated for Covid, as opposed to who is in hospital and Covid positive, which of course is not quite the same thing.”
Elimination of non-specific Covid cases from figures has been adopted in many cases, with the World Health Organisation offering no opposition to the non-categorisation of such patients.
A senior source said: “It’s a bit of a grey area, and there could be some queries from Nphet, but essentially it’s about trying to get a sense of where we are at with acute cases.
“If we can get the figures sharpened up a bit will be all to the good so that we better know what we are dealing with as the situation continues and as hospitality opens up.”
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I wonder if Tony the Crank .they called him that because he went to St Pats in 1978 for robbing a bicycle .He was released this morning from Mountjoy after doing two years for driving somebody elses van full of stuff .Anyway how sad would he be if he turned up at Slatterys on Capel Street with his black plastic bag with his change of clothes track suit and his wireless and his Prison Grat money and couldnt get an early pint because he had no photo ID .He will probably ring Joe Duffy after dinner and complain that he was treated fairer in side than out .Lad who owns the Shamrock Lodge said he wont reopen as he dosent want to discriminate good idea I would think in Finglas .What ID are they looking for in Noctors ?
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So if you end up in the hostipal with a butt plug up yer hoop(i heard it happens) and you test positive....you won't be counted as a positive case....but if you turn up at a test centre and test positive.....you will be?.....so if me aunty has balls...then she's not me uncle?....i need an bleedin aspirin!!