Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: Belker on December 11, 2022, 11:23:52 am
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Anyone ever had a nice but kinda surprising very nice fare that they would like to post.
(Probably a stoopid topic to post as the usual mongs will have a field day with it, but whatever).
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I had a deaf mute in me car a few yers ago ....
Very enjoyable journey
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Ones where people get in pay you get out .
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I'll start it. (With the full expectation of the mongs to knock everything as they always do).
I had this lovely Portugese lady in the cab by night last weekend, the (shortened version) conversation as we drove along the quays went like this;
Her; "May I ask you something ?",
Me; "Yes of course, fire away",
"Are there many seals in this river ?, I have been here 4 years now and saw Three in the first 2 weeks but none since and I always look out for them ?"
"I myself also love to see them but they come and go and I havent seen one in a few years, there was a dolphin who got stranded at low tide right here beside us on Frenchs quay a few years ago, but unfortunately it died dispite the best efforts to save it"
"Wow ! A dolphin really ? Do ye get a lot of marine life in this river ?"
"Eh, we do actually, I'll tell ya a story but your not gonna believe me and you will google it after I'm finished"
"No, I will believe you, you seem a very trurthful man and I won't google it"
"OK, well about 20 years back 3 Orca killer whales swam up this South channel of the Lee !"
"What ? Killer whales... in this river ?, I don't believe you"
"Well, I did tell you that you wouldn't believe me so have a google"
So off she goes and has a googly-googly and then sez;
"OMG ! your right, did that really happen ?"
"Yes, it did indeed, it was on a Friday night in the summer and all the city pubs and restaurants emptied on to the South quays to watch the spectacle of the Orca's in the river outside".
At journey end I said to her: "Sorry fer boring the life outta you along the way",
And she replied; "No, that was the most interesting and fascinating Taxi ride of my life !".
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Ones where people get in pay you get out .
As John m USED to say; "When you have nothing to say, then best say nothing !".
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I had a deaf mute in me car a few yers ago ....
Very enjoyable journey
Yea, that's kinda what I was talking about as a Mong reply,
maybe if ya could keep your Fookin trap shut fer a bit Octy then ya might let someone else actually say or post something without the fear of the Mongs just attacking every post.
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Ones where people get in pay you get out .
As John m USED to say; "When you have nothing to say, then best say nothing !".
I am a simple man reflecting on what I describe as Nice Fares .
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Good on ya Octy and John m,
Thanks fer spoiling my what might have been a nice topic with yere mong posts, take a pat on the back each !
Ya can be sure no one else is gonna post a nice tale on here with you 2 mongs just waiting to find fault.
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Ones where people get in pay you get out .
As John m USED to say; "When you have nothing to say, then best say nothing !".
I am a simple man reflecting on what I describe as Nice Fares .
Don't be playing the innocent with me John m, you knew what you were doing, as in I myself have nothing that I wish to add but I'll stick up an old Spoiler on the topic anyway just the same as Octy did.
Do you think any other poster will post a nice story with you 2 mongs waiting in the wings to pounce on them ?
Of course not and the mongs win !
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Had an American couple yesterday evening. Yer man goes, if you can guess what city I'm from in 3 guesses I'll give you a nice tip. Not wanting to say either new York or L.A. I says Boston. Wrong answer he goes. OK I says, Seattle. Bam, right answer. He gave me a crispy 20 dollar bill. Cheers I said. I gave it to my daughter for her collection of foreign notes that I give her.
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Doesn't really fall into the category of nice fares but yer man was impressed I got it in 2. How'd ya guess he asks. You sound like fraiser I lied. But fraiseris not even filmed in seattle his wife goes.
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..... He gave me a crispy 20 dollar bill. Cheers I said. I gave it to my daughter for her collection of foreign notes that I give her.
Is it only notes that your daughter collects ?
I have a few old coins from years back (1 is over 100 years old), if'n ya want them then I'll bring them up fer you/her next Tuesday ?
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Yea Ken it's only notes. Cheers though.
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Yea Ken it's only notes. Cheers though.
Balls anyway ! I had a really old, old Irish 1 punt note in mint condition but I gave it to a Turkish barber fella who had an old Irish theme going on in his shop window, I'll see if I can get it back off him ?
This one;
(https://i.postimg.cc/PvLrG5kn/lady-lavery-pound-note-1945.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/PvLrG5kn)
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She'd like that Ken. Don't fret though.
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I hate pickin up anybody ....in fact nuttin gives me greater pleasure than drivin past the cnuts with ther hand out in the pissin rain an me blown a raspberry
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She'd like that Ken. Don't fret though.
Don't be mindin him Horse....he's only tryin to get rid of shit he doesn't want to bother goin to the bank wit ....an the exchange rates an commission wud kill em
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wunna my favourite fares. a number of years ago i was up in Malahide late one Sunday night/Monday morning. i came across a little short haired blondie yungwan who was lost. where am i. i need to get back to skerries. chattin away to her and she told me she was a lesbian and she was in the army. spent the whole trip talkin about machine guns, tanks, fighter planes, warships, tits, gee, arses and women we'd luvta bend over. when i dropped her off she gamme a twenty quid tip.
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She'd like that Ken. Don't fret though.
Don't be mindin him Horse....he's only tryin to get rid of shit he doesn't want to bother goin to the bank wit ....an the exchange rates an commission wud kill em
Do you have anything good to say about anything Octy ?, ya better post something nice now or I'll give yiz a proper slap on Tuesday, or even worse, refuse your welcoming hug !
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She'd like that Ken. Don't fret though.
Don't be mindin him Horse....he's only tryin to get rid of shit he doesn't want to bother goin to the bank wit ....an the exchange rates an commission wud kill em
Do you have anything good to say about anything Octy ?, ya better post something nice now or I'll give yiz a proper slap on Tuesday, or even worse, refuse your welcoming hug !
I only gave ya a hug last time cause I felt sorry for yu ...state of ya
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True story ...I had a fare yers ago ....I was havin a bipolar moment an i didnt realise it cause ya dont wen its happinin ... anway i was tellin jokes to the 3 Americans...paddy the irish jokes sort o ting ...an they wer crying laughin ...the owlone in between gasping for air kept tellin me to stop makin her laugh as she was wetting her pants wet ....pants is wat the call them in America...anyway we wer just turnin into the guiness store house an I was laughin so much .....
I forgot that yu can't tell racist jokes in yur taxi ...an I started tellin them about the African an the zebra ...
An I was in hysterics totally oblivious to the deftly silence in the back ....
Anyway they got out an I kept repeating the punch line
An they wer fukin discusted .. yur man wanted to punch the head off me lol
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There's 2 cows in a field and one of them says 'Moo'. 'Damn', says the second cow, 'I was gonna say that.'
True story ...I had a fare yers ago ....I was havin a bipolar moment an i didnt realise it cause ya dont wen its happinin ...
Does one half of your brain not turn around (metaphorically speaking) and say 'who the fuk are you' to your other bipolar self?
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When I saw your big Neanderthal arms coming at me the last day,
my only thought was; 'How do I get outta this ?'.
Fer me the easiest solution was to just go along and Hug the Moron
and hope that is the end of it but I was 'Tooled up' just in case !
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There's 2 cows in a field and one of them says 'Moo'. 'Damn', says the second cow, 'I was gonna say that.'
True story ...I had a fare yers ago ....I was havin a bipolar moment an i didnt realise it cause ya dont wen its happinin ...
Does one half of your brain not turn around (metaphorically speaking) and say 'who the fuk are you' to your other bipolar self?
I don't suppose your coming to the Chrimbo bash on Tuesday Watty ?
You can have my ticket (fer Free) if you want it ?
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I hate pickin up anybody ....in fact nuttin gives me greater pleasure than drivin past the cnuts with ther hand out in the pissin rain an me blown a raspberry
Get a civil service job, they get paid to do exactly that !
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Is 'Tooled Up' a euphemism that you had a small erection and you were prepared to go all the way if the 'Neanderthal' persisted?
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I don't suppose your coming to the Chrimbo bash on Tuesday Watty ?
You can have my ticket (fer Free) if you want it ?
No, I'm not.
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There's 2 cows in a field and one of them says 'Moo'. 'Damn', says the second cow, 'I was gonna say that.'
True story ...I had a fare yers ago ....I was havin a bipolar moment an i didnt realise it cause ya dont wen its happinin ...
Does one half of your brain not turn around (metaphorically speaking) and say 'who the fuk are you' to your other bipolar self?
No ...ther totally different people ...an nuttin to do with
me
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Yea Ken it's only notes. Cheers though.
Balls anyway ! I had a really old, old Irish 1 punt note in mint condition but I gave it to a Turkish barber fella who had an old Irish theme going on in his shop window, I'll see if I can get it back off him ?
This one;
(https://i.postimg.cc/PvLrG5kn/lady-lavery-pound-note-1945.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/PvLrG5kn)
Is it these guys, "Paddy the Turk", they're all over the country.
https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0LCrOsDSytCgzYLRSNagwsTAzNzA3MkxLMzdKtDQ3tjKoSDZNNU9MTElNTTFNM0lKNfCSKUhMSalUKMlIVSgpLcpWSCnNU8hJzE_PSMwsSgUA9ycaFA&q=paddy+the+turk+dun+laoghaire&rlz=1C1OKWM_en&oq=Paddy+the+Turk&aqs=chrome.4.0i512j46i175i199i512l2j0i512j46i175i199i512j0i512j46i175i199i512j0i512.14721j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 (https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tVP1zc0LCrOsDSytCgzYLRSNagwsTAzNzA3MkxLMzdKtDQ3tjKoSDZNNU9MTElNTTFNM0lKNfCSKUhMSalUKMlIVSgpLcpWSCnNU8hJzE_PSMwsSgUA9ycaFA&q=paddy+the+turk+dun+laoghaire&rlz=1C1OKWM_en&oq=Paddy+the+Turk&aqs=chrome.4.0i512j46i175i199i512l2j0i512j46i175i199i512j0i512j46i175i199i512j0i512.14721j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)
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There's 2 cows in a field and one of them says 'Moo'. 'Damn', says the second cow, 'I was gonna say that.'
True story ...I had a fare yers ago ....I was havin a bipolar moment an i didnt realise it cause ya dont wen its happinin ...
Does one half of your brain not turn around (metaphorically speaking) and say 'who the fuk are you' to your other bipolar self?
Do you remember before celebrities ran out of Cocaine, Bipolar was simply called manic depression?
Nutters like Peter Sellars, Spike Milligan and John Cleese all were diagnosed with it.
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And before the word autistic and spectrum were being thrown around some kids were just a bit different but everyone just got on with it.
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They done it on an episode of The Young Offenders
I'll start it. (With the full expectation of the mongs to knock everything as they always do).
I had this lovely Portugese lady in the cab by night last weekend, the (shortened version) conversation as we drove along the quays went like this;
Her; "May I ask you something ?",
Me; "Yes of course, fire away",
"Are there many seals in this river ?, I have been here 4 years now and saw Three in the first 2 weeks but none since and I always look out for them ?"
"I myself also love to see them but they come and go and I havent seen one in a few years, there was a dolphin who got stranded at low tide right here beside us on Frenchs quay a few years ago, but unfortunately it died dispite the best efforts to save it"
"Wow ! A dolphin really ? Do ye get a lot of marine life in this river ?"
"Eh, we do actually, I'll tell ya a story but your not gonna believe me and you will google it after I'm finished"
"No, I will believe you, you seem a very trurthful man and I won't google it"
"OK, well about 20 years back 3 Orca killer whales swam up this South channel of the Lee !"
"What ? Killer whales... in this river ?, I don't believe you"
"Well, I did tell you that you wouldn't believe me so have a google"
So off she goes and has a googly-googly and then sez;
"OMG ! your right, did that really happen ?"
"Yes, it did indeed, it was on a Friday night in the summer and all the city pubs and restaurants emptied on to the South quays to watch the spectacle of the Orca's in the river outside".
At journey end I said to her: "Sorry fer boring the life outta you along the way",
And she replied; "No, that was the most interesting and fascinating Taxi ride of my life !".
-
They done it on an episode of The Young Offenders
I'll start it. (With the full expectation of the mongs to knock everything as they always do).
I had this lovely Portugese lady in the cab by night last weekend, the (shortened version) conversation as we drove along the quays went like this;
Her; "May I ask you something ?",
Me; "Yes of course, fire away",
"Are there many seals in this river ?, I have been here 4 years now and saw Three in the first 2 weeks but none since and I always look out for them ?"
"I myself also love to see them but they come and go and I havent seen one in a few years, there was a dolphin who got stranded at low tide right here beside us on Frenchs quay a few years ago, but unfortunately it died dispite the best efforts to save it"
"Wow ! A dolphin really ? Do ye get a lot of marine life in this river ?"
"Eh, we do actually, I'll tell ya a story but your not gonna believe me and you will google it after I'm finished"
"No, I will believe you, you seem a very trurthful man and I won't google it"
"OK, well about 20 years back 3 Orca killer whales swam up this South channel of the Lee !"
"What ? Killer whales... in this river ?, I don't believe you"
"Well, I did tell you that you wouldn't believe me so have a google"
So off she goes and has a googly-googly and then sez;
"OMG ! your right, did that really happen ?"
"Yes, it did indeed, it was on a Friday night in the summer and all the city pubs and restaurants emptied on to the South quays to watch the spectacle of the Orca's in the river outside".
At journey end I said to her: "Sorry fer boring the life outta you along the way",
And she replied; "No, that was the most interesting and fascinating Taxi ride of my life !".
Maybe the Orcas knew there was a steady supply of people throwing themselves into the river.