Irish Taxi Forum

Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: Rat Catcher on January 10, 2024, 12:32:16 pm

Title: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Rat Catcher on January 10, 2024, 12:32:16 pm

What don't you want to hear when a client boards your vehicle? I'll get the ball rolling with:

I (used to) do a bit meself bud

The blessings of God be on you, Sir

[any destination] (please) Boss

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Taxi driver42 on January 10, 2024, 01:05:03 pm

I'm going home

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: taxi1990 on January 10, 2024, 01:07:17 pm

Turn off that meter.



How is it 4 euro already?

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Bubba Ho-Tep on January 10, 2024, 01:41:01 pm

Q. Is it raining long ?

A. I don`t know , I`m not from around here .

Q. Do you like driving a taxi ?

A. Yeah, I just don`t like meeting strangers.

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: vandriver on January 10, 2024, 03:00:25 pm

Google maps says take the R 109,and turn left into the R 353
Thanks bud,that clears it right up.
*Examples obviously,the only R road I know in Dublin is the R139

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: John m on January 10, 2024, 03:02:04 pm

Here bud where can ya get white around here ? Or when the Shop is closed "You must know somewhere else that sells ?

Quick story Mate picks up a lad asks where you from Bud ?mate says Clondalkin .Bloke asks to you know Anto ?Mate says yeh he left his bird living with some new bird across town.

Two weeks later my mate is in the Steering Wheel gets a smack of a Cider bottle .Anto says you shut your fucking mouth about my business in your taxi .

The lad who asked if he knew Anto his missus left him for Anto but he didnt know Anto was living in his Gaff with her while he was still paying the Mortgage .She told the hubby if he wanted his share of the Gaff he had to pay the Mortgage until the divorce was settled .

If anybody asks do you know ? I always reply I know nobody ?

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Octavia1 on January 10, 2024, 03:05:45 pm

" Have you read the Koran " (yea I know its spelt rong) an listen to the teachins of muhumed  the profit ( yea I know  ::))  Allen be be blessin him .....


" no I havnt now now shut up or fuck off ou me face "  ::fds

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Dr. Martin Gooter Bling on January 10, 2024, 06:11:36 pm

"Any choons?"

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: silverbullet on January 10, 2024, 07:18:27 pm

1/ Have you got Bluetooth so I can listen to my tunes?

2/ I'm just going over to Moatview to pick up a key...and back here, is that OK?

Sure, a key of what?

3/ I'm just going to a Bank link and then to Belcamp Lane to pick up a naggin of Vodka off the Polish lad and back here, is that OK?

Sure. Is it White Vodka?

4/ Aah, a white driver, one of ear owen. dem fordeners havin't a clue.

5/ Did ya see the game?

6/ What are all them extras for, and we haven't gone anywhere yet?

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: markmiwurdz on January 10, 2024, 07:21:04 pm

I'm treating myself to a Taxi today..




Where's Hal?

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Belker on January 11, 2024, 09:13:08 am

Quote from: silverbullet on January 10, 2024, 07:18:27 pm

.... 5/ Did ya see the game? ...

True story. I had a customer one night that asked exactly that,
I went off; "We were Fookin robbed 2 up with 10 minutes to go and the Fookers got 2 sneaky goals fer a Fookin draw in the last 2 Fookin minutes", Etc,, Etc...
The customer asked; "Are you talking about the Man utd Champions league match ? "
I replied; "Eh, No, I was talking about the Ringmahon rangers Vs Churchvilla under-15 game !".

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Belker on January 11, 2024, 09:20:12 am

Any sentence that ends with; "I swear 'n me dead nana's/ma's/child's life" !

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: Taxi driver42 on January 11, 2024, 01:11:15 pm

What team do u follow

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: mercenary for hire on January 11, 2024, 01:57:41 pm

"I've been trying to get a taxi for ages and none of them will stop"

Really annoying when I've been driving around empty for an hour.Ages could be 5 minutes for these lying bastards.

Title: Re: Dreaded Opening Lines
Post by: silverbullet on January 11, 2024, 04:36:50 pm

Here's a tenner, I'm not going to rob you, you're one of ere owen!