Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: Belker on November 06, 2018, 06:59:51 pm
-
I learnt this new trick just last weekend, I picked up this drunk man on Sunday night who turned out to be a lot drunker than I had reckoned, he asked to head fer North Cork and when we arrived the fare was 15Euro, he rooted through all his pockets with coins falling everywhere and eventually came up with 3 Fivers which I accepted.
Obviousely I had the internal car light on when he was getting his money together, but as soon as I was paid I turned the light to Off so even when he opened the door to exit the light stayed off and he could not see all the coins he had dropped, the additional 7.70 in coins made it a nice fare.
-
That's not a tip or a trick....that's just plain theft!!
-
Ya robbing bastard
-
never ever turn a light on for a pisshead unless they request it.
not too long ago a pisshead gave me two fiftys stuck together.
taxi drivers, taximen.
-
and even then, only turn on one of the dome lights nearest you and leave theirs off in order to cast as little light their way as possible.
-
and even then, only turn on one of the dome lights nearest you and leave theirs off in order to cast as little light their way as possible.
Yeah but it only became a new trick down in cork recently,
Ah bless,
-
Me biggest tip was 150 for 2 minute job.... A mad cnut gave it to me and his misses grabbed it off me.... She got out and he gave another 150...an said don't mind that mean cunt ...
-
never ever turn a light on for a pisshead unless they request it.
not too long ago a pisshead gave me two fiftys stuck together.
taxi drivers, taximen.
Had a lovely one of them a good while back. One of those really annoying clients who insisted on babbling in my ear for the entire short journey ending every sentence with "I know the story, bud" - "me brudder does a bit, I know...", "are ye on for the night, I know...", "will ye get 3 outta the night, I know...", etc, etc, etc... Anyway when we get to his gaff he tells me he only has a fifty but he can get change inside if I need it because "I know...". As we in one of the less salubrious northside suburbs I said I'd take the fifty and was about to put it through a forensic examination with the words "you know the story, bud" on my lips when I realised there was two of 'em so just gave him 40 back and away he went. Thought to meself, I might get 3 outta the night now, bud!
-
Discracefull carry on Robbing customers and blogging about it .Big Dommo must be turning in his Urn .
-
the customers always right john.
if they say there's a twenty and it turns out to be two twenties stuck together, who are us mere mortals to argue with them.
-
the customers always right john.
if they say there's a twenty and it turns out to be two twenties stuck together, who are us mere mortals to argue with them.
No tsure about that Doc could be Larcany as they are as you say stuck togeather .Your sort of kind of creating some sort of doubt about the intent of the transaction bu sayong they were stuck as opposed to saying I was presented with .Lad in black with a wig might take a dim view of the term stuck.
-
Last week this guy gave me a twenty and five for a 9.80e fare.I saw it was twenty but when I uncrumbled it the twenty note was only a half...Served me right!
-
I knew a lad who used to give half fivers to piss heads.
-
Last week this guy gave me a twenty and five for a 9.80e fare.I saw it was twenty but when I uncrumbled it the twenty note was only a half...Served me right!
He's probably on the punter forum gloating about ripping off a taxi driver!!
-
Last week this guy gave me a twenty and five for a 9.80e fare.I saw it was twenty but when I uncrumbled it the twenty note was only a half...Served me right!
He's probably on the punter forum gloating about ripping off a taxi driver!!
Laffin
-
i often think about this.
if you have a note that's torn you can go to a bank and have it replaced with a fresh one, as long as you have more than half of the note. your torn fifty now becomes one hundred. if you tore it fairly evenly down the center and gave it the Lord Melbury routine from Fawlty towers I wonder how many banks you could hit before they got wise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTnEyF_PbD8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTnEyF_PbD8)
-
Sounds like you're money laundering Doc. lol
-
you over estimate me kid.
i'm not that cleva.
-
you over estimate me kid.
i'm not that cleva.
C'mon....ignorance is not a defence!!
-
i often think about this.
if you have a note that's torn you can go to a bank and have it replaced with a fresh one, as long as you have more than half of the note. your torn fifty now becomes one hundred. if you tore it fairly evenly down the center and gave it the Lord Melbury routine from Fawlty towers I wonder how many banks you could hit before they got wise.
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTnEyF_PbD8[/url] ([url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTnEyF_PbD8[/url])
Dosent work that way Doc I sent in a score about 20 years ago they said that the other half of the note was surrendered and they replaced it and they held on to my half as it was no longer legal tender as that seriel number had been withdrawnfrom circulation .
-
you have to have 52% of the note left to exchange it in a bank.
-
yep and are they gonna break out the ruler and measure if you look like a big shot.
look at that movie catch me if you can.
your man got away with murder in the 60s because he portrayed himself as a big shot pilot.
-
That's not a tip or a trick....that's just plain theft!!
+1.
-
I was goin down mercenary Street one night an a bloke on a bike was cyclin along an there was his notes fallen out of his pocket.... I had couple Germans in the car an I rolled down the window an shouted at him.... " hey yur money is fallen out of yur pockets "
Fuck off he said to me.... I think he thought I was givin out....Anyway I kept goin as stoppin an pickin it upwit people in their an and cars behind I wasn't.....
I let the luftwaffas out at rathmines an drove back to mercer like a bat out o hell.... An there was the 65 on the exact spot....
Nudder time I was sittin at the green rank an I looked on the ground an seen a 3 fiftys on the ground.... Got out an fukin legged it....
Another time I was gettin out of bed in me old bedsit wen I was a poor cnut but ridin everything an I was lookin for me socks...an i found a pair of knickers an I said to the bird in the bed " are these yurs "?
No she said :o
-
For 2 weeks before I won the lottery.... I was finding money everyday
-
Ken.... Ya bring bad karma even if the cunt was drunk ::cheers....
-
Ha ha cyclists...I was drving down Burlington road last year and noticed a cyclist dropping a wallet...caught up with him and tried to tell him but he just looked at me with his headphones on then cycled off.I didn't bother going back as I was heading for the Airport.But he probably thought I was a road rager.
-
picked a gargled filthbag up outside a night club early one morning.
after about ten minutes he wanted to get sick so i pulled over on this pitch black road.
he spewed his jaysus up with a big splash on the side of the road.
reached the dump he was going to and he tells me he can't find his wallet with a few hundred in it.
It must have fell out when he got sick.
he pricks around with coins and just about covers the fare.
i gunned it back to where he got sick.
got the flashlight out.
saw the vomit and the tissue i gave him to wipe his boat and hands with but no wallet.
the cunt suckered me good. >:(
-
Think I posted this on Roys dropped an old lad off at Heuston who had come up from Ballana to buy a new jacket .When I dropped him two yanks asked was I working and got in and picked up a wad and handed it to me .I knew it was the old lads as I had hoovered the car that day and he was my first job .I legged it up the platform to catch him gave him his wedge that he counted in front of me 820 in readies .He said its all there and got on the train .Miserable cunt .No matter how much or what it is phones computers or even messages I would always return it if I can .I am not an honest man but Im also not a thief .
-
If some miserable cunt stood there and counted the money and said "it's all there"....i'd abuse the fuk from a height...shudda kept it John and brought the hen
away for a romantic weekend to Finches!!
-
That's not a tip or a trick....that's just plain theft!!
No, it ain't, it was only pittance and he was a pisshead who left it.
-
Ya robbing bastard
It was you dat taught me ya Fookin ugly Pox mongrel !
-
Put that sceal up on the PROC....and wait for the compliments Ken!! lol
-
You will have no luck for it.
Puncture or gearbox gone will be your karma
-
Jaysus Jack....don't hold back there!!
-
Ken.... Ya bring bad karma even if the cunt was drunk ::cheers....
This excerpt from Taxi Diaries 2 may improve the Karma;
Q.T.
I had this fare a few years back to bring an auld lad home from the pub,
it was a flag down off the street on Barrack street in Cork at about midnight,
the auld lad 'Whittled on' pleasantly the whole way to his home which was just
a few minutes away in Ballyphehane, the part I did remember was him bragging
about having Several pints of Guinness with a Jack Daniels chaser.
I dropped him by his home and he paid his fare and gave me a tip and
I drove off. In stopping at the next Red traffic light I noticed a Fifty Euro
note on the cab floor, which was most definitely belong to the auld lad,
so I doubled back, but he was gone in home and I didn't know which
house it was that he had gone in to.
So I put the Fifty in an envelope and in to the cab glove compartment
and forgot about it. A few weeks later I called in to the pub from outside of
where I had collected him and I explained to the landlady that I was looking
for a White haired mature man who drinks Guinness and Jack Daniels and
that he had dropped a Fifty in my car, she sez to me; "Frankie, that's gotta
be Frankie, but these days he only ever comes in on a Wednesday night".
"Grand", sez I;"I'll call back some Wednesday night".
But being the lazy sod that I am, it's seldom that I'm ever up outta bed
before pub closing time, so the envelope was left in the cab fer months,
until ages later, when I was passing the same pub during a rare Saturday
afternoon shift and I just went in and gave the envelope to the same landlady,
telling her to give it to 'Frankie' and I included my mobile on the envelope.
I never heard another word back about it fer weeks, but so what ?
My job was done and I never told another soul about it.
Until this morning ! I'm in the rush hour traffic, the Bosses wife is on the
very busy switch in the base and the city is Gridlocked because of the City
sports hosting 30,000 children, parents and assistants down in 'De Park'.
Next thing over the taxi blower comes; "Ken Car 16, did you hand a
Fifty Euro note in to a Pub on Barrack street ?".
My face flushes as I stutter to answer back; "Ah, Yea".
Base;"Well that was Ray Car 6's brother and he is here with me in
the base and he sez that was a very decent thing of you to do",
I'm in the Joe cringing from head to foot knowing that all the other
drivers can hear what is being said, I think it was my toes that went
Red first and it spread upwards at speed.
An hour later, I'm picking up from a city hotel and Ray Car 6 pulls up
next to me, he tries to force a Tenner upon me telling me that his
brother rang him last week asking; "Do you know a 'Ken Cash' ?".
Ray tells me (while forcing the Tenner in to my top pocket) that he
replied to his brother; "Of course I know him, there's only One Ken Cash".
So much fer doing a Good Deed on the Q.T. !
-
Jaysus Jack....don't hold back there!!
That’s what would happen to me.
Couldn’t take a risk on bad karma
-
Or try this One from last Chrimbo;
To: Cork County Library
Subject: Lost property.
My name is Ken Cashman, I am a night time taxi driver, my Taxi badge number is L****.
Last night a customer of mine left his wallet in my cab, in the wallet there was a library card and also a HSE card which gave his age at 74.
His name was D**** S*** and I dropped him off in the Uam Var estate in Bishopstown, I think it was Uam Var **** but I don't remember the exact location or house number.
I handed in his wallet to Anglesea street garda station as is protocol for taxi drivers to do, but Mr S**** may not know where to check if his belongings were handed in. If you have him on file then you might be so good as to ring him if ye have his phone number or send him a letter if not telling him where his wallet is.
Thank you, Ken Cashman.
From: Cork County Library <CountyHQ.Library@CorkCoCo.ie>
Sent: 21 December 2017 09:07
To: ken cashman
Subject: RE: Lost property.
Hi Ken,
Thanks for letting us know. I have called him but so far he's not picking up. I will keep trying though.
Enjoy your Christmas.
Thank you ******,
It was very late last night that I completed the fare (2am) so he might not be up yet.
There was also some cash in the wallet and I wouldn't like to see the man short during the festive season.
Thank you very much for your time,
Best wishes and a Merry Christmas to you too.
Ken Cashman.
(Taxi badge number L****, Taxi Roofsign number *****)
-
You will have no luck for it.
Puncture or gearbox gone will be your karma
Are yiz really looking ta go fer Round 4 Jack Me Off/Deboy ?
Your after losing Round 1 (on Roys) on an unenforced apology,
you lost Round 2 on an very embarrassing Cork roundabouts question,
and your also after losing Round 3 after your own recent unenforced exile.
Do you really wanna go fer Round 4 ?
Personally I would have taken the Apology on offer and let
bygones be bygones, but that is your choice and not mine.
I offer you the 'Olive Branch' if you wish to accept it ?
-
You will have no luck for it.
Puncture or gearbox gone will be your karma
Are yiz really looking ta go fer Round 4 Jack Me Off/Deboy ?
Your after losing Round 1 (on Roys) on an unenforced apology,
you lost Round 2 on an very embarrassing Cork roundabouts question,
and your also after losing Round 3 after your own recent unenforced exile.
Do you really wanna go fer Round 4 ?
Personally I would have taken the Apology on offer and let
bygones be bygones, but that is your choice and not mine.
I offer you the 'Olive Branch' if you wish to accept it ?
What the fook is your problem
-
YOU !
Picking at and Poking at me fer the last Ten years or so !
I'm shite sick of it by now, everyone else gave up on it after the Book issue,
but your the only one that constantly keeps it up.
-
Well fuck off so you wife beating mong
-
It's kickin off now....and the season of
goodwill ask the buttend of me bollox just around the corner!!
-
Every Critic I had on here or on Roy's over the years I have either demoralized or befriended, you were the exception to the rule Deboy, you kept it up when everyone else had let it pass fer years. I Spanked you 3 times over, not knowing your identity, but the rules have changed as of now, I do know your identity and most of your quite unpopular past, it was actually your own seemingly 'Best mate' that spilt the beans on you. I'll forgive your last UNTRUE quote as you didn't know how much I knew about you then.
You want it ? Then bring it on ! NO RULES THIS TIME !!
-
Jaysus,stop it ffs....it'll be straightners in the carpark of McDonalds next!!
-
Bring what on ?
What the fook are you on about ?
-
Ya robbing bastard
It was you dat taught me ya Fookin ugly Pox mongrel !
And that's why I called you a robber, can you not come up with your own ideas? rofl
-
Every Critic I had on here or on Roy's over the years I have either demoralized or befriended, you were the exception to the rule Deboy, you kept it up when everyone else had let it pass fer years. I Spanked you 3 times over, not knowing your identity, but the rules have changed as of now, I do know your identity and most of your quite unpopular past, it was actually your own seemingly 'Best mate' that spilt the beans on you. I'll forgive your last UNTRUE quote as you didn't know how much I knew about you then.
You want it ? Then bring it on ! NO RULES THIS TIME !!
Bring what on ?
What the fook are you on about ?
I reckon it is self explanatory, if'n yiz need it explanied in more detail, then just ask what part or part's you do not understand.
-
Bring it on
Bring what on ?
-
Ya robbing bastard
It was you dat taught me ya Fookin ugly Pox mongrel !
And that's why I called you a robber, can you not come up with your own ideas? rofl
I Do have me own ideas, but most of em are kept inside 'De Bra' and how to extract
'em is my problem !
lol
-
Well fuck off so you wife beating mong
Bring it on
Bring what on ?
Well this fer starters !
You started it Jack/Deboy, Believe me I will Finish it !
-
I started what
Explain yourself
-
Well fuck off so you wife beating mong
I started what
Explain yourself
Kinda Self explanatory.
-
To be honest I don’t what your on about and What I started.
Don’t think you actually know yourself
-
picked a gargled filthbag up outside a night club early one morning.
after about ten minutes he wanted to get sick so i pulled over on this pitch black road.
he spewed his jaysus up with a big splash on the side of the road.
reached the dump he was going to and he tells me he can't find his wallet with a few hundred in it.
It must have fell out when he got sick.
he pricks around with coins and just about covers the fare.
i gunned it back to where he got sick.
got the flashlight out.
saw the vomit and the tissue i gave him to wipe his boat and hands with but no wallet.
the cunt suckered me good. >:(
The best one I fell for was a couple of lads who put three boxes of lager in the boot and "forgot" them when they got out. Forgot them myself 'till I heard a rattle later on... cost me 11 mins at the end of my shift, feeding them into the bottle bank... cunts!
-
Found someones pair of glasses on me central consol thingy... Yesterday....
And mine own pair we'r gone
Blind cnut took the wrong ones
-
Is this a blog for Over-Actors Anonymous? Like a scene from some play about self-lobotomising.
-
Is this a blog for Over-Actors Anonymous? Like a scene from some play about self-lobotomising.
Straightners in carparks anall....it's got everything LL.
-
Is this a blog for Over-Actors Anonymous? Like a scene from some play about self-lobotomising.
Straightners in carparks anall....it's got everything LL.
Blessed are they, Mongs driving!
-
Is this a blog for Over-Actors Anonymous? Like a scene from some play about self-lobotomising.
Straightners in carparks anall....it's got everything LL.
If them 2 don't stop fighting.....
I'll put more of me paintins up....
(https://i.postimg.cc/hX4JNsQS/nobody-move.jpg) (https://postimg.cc/hX4JNsQS)
-
Ken's
Tinder Grndr profile,
Name:Ken Cash,
Occupation:Taxi driver,
Location:Cork.....but willing to stalk in any location,
Likes:Saving people from the River Lee and Straightners in carparks(fast food outlets,shopping centres,halting sites,
Likes to call fellow drivers gay if the don't drive an Avensis...laden with alcohol and hookers,
Cowboy boots,braces and any other Beverley Hillbillies clothing memorabilia,
Dislikes:Cunts that he perceives to have dissed him,PROC.
-
Laffin
-
Ken's Tinder Grndr profile,
Name:Ken Cash,
Occupation:Taxi driver,
Location:Cork.....but willing to stalk in any location,
Likes:Saving people from the River Lee and Straightners in carparks(fast food outlets,shopping centres,halting sites,
Likes to call fellow drivers gay if the don't drive an Avensis...laden with alcohol and hookers,
Cowboy boots,braces and any other Beverley Hillbillies clothing memorabilia,
Dislikes:Cunts that he perceives to have dissed him,PROC.
rofl
-
Like the book, they all swiped left. 8)
-
Yiz getting de hang of me Hal lol
C'mere, Mogadishui be a piece of Cake fer you,
after last weekend, they are only trotting behind ye !
-
Yiz getting de hang of me Hal lol
C'mere, Mogadishui be a piece of Cake fer you,
after last weekend, they are only trotting behind ye !
Ken... Wud yu not shake hands wit jack Meoff an have a pint wit him fer fuk sake...? https://youtu.be/Eo-_N2S2pTw