Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: stonethecrows on July 03, 2019, 08:39:31 am
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https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ (https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ)
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Comedian? Are they having a joke, he's about as funny as ass cancer.
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An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
Comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
Alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
A little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found
Jesus me brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No,oi I haven't found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
The water again ---
But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
Kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'
(Are you ready for this????)
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
Preacher, 'Are you sure dis is where he fell in?'
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Two elderly ladies met for the first time since school.
One asked the other: “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?”
“Oh yes” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, my third to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
Her friend asked: “What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?”
“One for the money, two for the show. Three to get ready and four to go.”
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Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
"Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
"Yep, that's him," came the reply.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him
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After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly, then said: “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H… I, J, K.”
She asks: “What does that mean?”
He said: “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey.”
She smiled happily and said: “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”
He said: “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen… but it will get better
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And 1 especially for Octy :
In Ireland we have the best sense of humour on the planet and it comes natural to us.
There’s a good reason for that. There’s none of us the full shilling
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Comedian? Are they having a joke, he's about as funny as ass cancer.
He was OK in his day... He had the restraints of Catholic Ireland to contend with and you cud bring the kids ds along to his shows......
The one that is as funny as arse cancer is Brendan o Carroll...... Comic terrorism
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And what about Auld Sil Fox ?
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And what about Auld Sil Fox ?
Another waste of oxygen
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https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ (https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ)
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)
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https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ (https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ)
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)
A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."
Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.
After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"
The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream
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https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ (https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ)
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)
A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."
Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.
After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"
The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream
https://youtu.be/3dfRZktrIlo (https://youtu.be/3dfRZktrIlo) 8)
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A guy goes to the Doctor and says "every morning I manage a bowel movement religiously at 7am".
Doctor says " Nothing wrong there, what's your problem?"
The guy says
I don't get up til 8! 8)
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Ran a charity gig in the Embankment in the 70s. Fat fucker was resident so at end of night ..he demanded full fee and bar drinks bill to be taken from profit...Ended up as a near loss.Miserable fat fucker lives in Miami and hauls back to Ireland for his hospital visits.....but I hope he gets well soon
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Ah the embankment.I remember it well.it was the home of all the balladeers.Mick mccarthy wasn't a bad auld skin
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Ah the embankment.I remember it well.it was the home of all the balladeers.Mick mccarthy wasn't a bad auld skin
The niteclub was a bit of a header's kip
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The photo or Luke Kelly taken in the Embankment was the template for the Guild Street Sculpture.
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Ah the embankment.I remember it well.it was the home of all the balladeers.Mick mccarthy wasn't a bad auld skin
" No mickey mousing "
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that's a brutal sculpture I think.
it looks like a severed head on a spit.
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a safari trip to Africa taking her faithful aged poodle named 'Cuddles' along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies in the jungle and before long Cuddles discovers that he's lost..
Wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, Oh ! I'm in deep Doo-Doo now !' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly; ''Boy, that was one delicious leopard ! I wonder if there are any more around here?''
Hearing this the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew !' says the leopard, 'That was close ! That old poodle nearly had me !'
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says; "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine !"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now ?', but instead of running the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet and just when they get close enough to hear the old poodle says; 'Where's that damn monkey ? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard !"
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There's a moral to that story Ken?
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There's a moral to that story Ken?
You actually read it? lol
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There's a moral to that story Ken?
You actually read it? lol
I fell for it Tony!!
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There's a moral to that story Ken?
Moral of this story....
Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill ! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged.
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But....you can't teach old poodles ..new tricks
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Bottler has left the building!!
RIP
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Bottler has left the building!!
RIP
https://theliberal.ie/false-rumours-flood-social-media-that-comedian-brendan-grace-has-died/
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R I.P....(Cushy Butterfield)...his first hit.Remember him singing the Safe cross code too .
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Thought he was a lot older .RIP .
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Thought he was a lot older .RIP .
Yeah me too
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Thought he was a lot older .RIP .
Yeah me too
You thought he was still breathing!!
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Thought he was a lot older .RIP .
Yeah me too
You thought he was still breathing!!
He was till he stopped
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Thought he was a lot older .RIP .
Yeah me too
You thought he was still breathing!!
He was till he stopped
But he wasn't when you thought he was..even though he was till he wasn't!!
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RIP
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Still funnier than Brendan O'Carroll.
R.I.P.