We're gonna have to rename Erm to Vicky Pollard:
Vicky Pollard: Oh, my God! That is so unfair! This is like, well, sexual harassment! If you like, fancy me why don't you just say so?God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind afterPE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.

vicky pollard quotes
yeah but no but yeah but no but there's this whole other fing wot you dont know nuffin about so SHARRUP! u SHURRUP! and tasha ses ur gay but dont listen to er cos she smokes weed and she's pregnant with darren's baby so SHAP u!Doesn't matter ne way coz we got one of dese (sniffs pritt stick) Come on girls, lets gwo, dis place is RABBASH! takes a bow u like?
OH MY GOD! I can't belive u jus sed thaat. jus cus I watch some1 don't mean I fancy em. u no nuffin bout this, so shut up!n stop givin me evils! yer bt no but yer, carlys a bitch anyway she sed sh cudnt go 2 fingys party cos er dad was ill but all he had was a brain hemrig, shudup i wasnt evn ther that girl with the manky fut plays with matches, i didnt smash the window! yeah but no but yeah but don't worry cause i was going cause this shop is well rubbish cause this one time bethaney ray got a saturday job here and someone found a deadrat in the chocolate raisins adn bought it and eat it and came back the next week and says have you got anymore of those chocolate rats, I swear on duncan from blues life
Sha-up, Yeah but, no but, yeah but, no but, nuffin to do wiv meor my god, oi doen believe it, yer but no but why do you say all that right but destiny right she wo like caugh' gettin' off wit chris right but yer no right yer but no but yer but i ain't even done somink or nuffink so DON'T GIVE ME EVILS! i can't of done nuffin coz u no candice well she snogged destiny by the swings and now every1's goin aroung sayin that she's a complete slag but don't trust hannah coz she plays with matches!
...anyways like, kyle was so like well doggin' I up like, so i said "what you lookin' at? you gurt meader like", he says "dunno they don't put labels on rubbish, like", so i was like "Oooh your like sooo funny like not and i seen you 'round the back of peetzawlut down town with that scutler what works down Asdawl and your daps is like well gay" an ee says "yeah like, bovvered you gurt munter, diesel gettee if you keeps dissing I" an ee was like fretnin to punch I so I says I'll get arr Jordan to spark im out and then ee'd be roight gutted like, cos our jordan is gurt macky
'an well 'ard like...
read like vicky
