tip for today

[The Liffey Lip]

No thanks. You've a vested interest as you're married...I'm not. I'd insist on the woman getting a tubal ligation before my Vas goes for a hop. Works out best for all if I go deep throat or Tradesman's.

[mercenary for hire]

I dunno if this sweetens or sours the deal but the surgeon who performs all the snip operations in Ireland does a sideline gig performing heart operations.....seamless.

[The Liffey Lip]

Just get your prostate, seminal vesicle and Cowpers gland removed...your sperm cells can't survive without the semen to feed them. Either that, or make sure you shoot your load every day....sperm cells take 3 days to form properly in men over 30...you can't impregnate her if you're constantly emptying the bag. Habits take yrs to change.....I'm sticking to short neck spouting.

[mercenary for hire]

Because I chose chemistry over biology my instinct is to try the two elastics on the ball bag method of contraception.If you see me pushing a triple buggy down the NCR you'll know ot was a bad idea.

[The Liffey Lip]

Because I chose chemistry over biology my instinct is to try the two elastics on the ball bag method of contraception.If you see me pushing a triple buggy down the NCR you'll know ot was a bad idea.

And if I see her pushing a pram...you'll know my one wasn't bad after all.

[mercenary for hire]

Ha yeah maybe, Obviosly a third or fourth elastic is what's needed!

[Shallowhal]

Looking forward to tomorrows tips from youse lads.

[The Liffey Lip]

No need to wait Hal....

If it moves and it shouldn’t, use duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40....Engineer's Bible.

[Rat Catcher]

Are yis for real lads?Horse racing is about as spontaneous as the WWE and much less entertaining.Completely fixed.Only a moron would bet unless you're getting good insider info.And I doubt anyone on here could afford to be in the company of good horse tippers.Get up the yard.

I was doing alright a few years back with no insider info... all I had was an app that found the best prices on horses it thought had a better chance than the odds dictated. I was only foiled by most of the bookmakers closing my accounts... fucking parasites.

[mercenary for hire]

Taking advantage of their poor maths is a different story I suppose.Just betting because you got a tip off a bloke at the bar is lunacy.Genuine tips cost hundreds of euro from what I've been told.

If there was no jockeys maybe it would be more predictable and honest.But without someone whipping the poor bastards then you'd struggle to get the horses to complete a lap with enthusiasm...

[Rat Catcher]

To be fair, I've had a few tips from the lip over the years that have seen me right... and MMW got me a decent few quid one Chelenham back before posting a tip on here became a kiss of death!

[mercenary for hire]

I wish yis lots of winners but I'm too sceptical.

[Rat Catcher]

You're right to be sceptical. As my project of a few years back proved it's against the rules to win or, as Paddypower poster boy Ruby Walsh put it, punters bet to make bookmakers rich.

Wayned Warren playing the trained chimp now - live on Quest. Reminds me of his post match interview last year or the year before.. your woman asks if he pays any attention to averages and he responds, in his wonderful Welsh accent, do I bollox... before being reminded it was a live TV interview!

[The Liffey Lip]

Charlie McCreevy was given the credit for saying it but some other real gambler said it....The only way to end up with a small fortune from gambling is to start off with a large fortune.

[The Liffey Lip]

Tipster services work on a rotation basis...Rats, Liffey Lip and John M get horses 1, 2, 3 respectively in a 16 horse handicap. All are advised to back their horse ew...chances are one of them is placed. Rats, Liffey Lip and John M aren't aware that horses 4 to 16 inclusive are distributed equally amongst the premium payers for said tips. One of them is a certain winner....he tells 3 more mugs after he wins 2 from 4.....the exponential domino keeps falling...racket is right. Best policy of all is to stick to one nag you know is knocking on the door and keep backing the useless bastard until it wins.