I collected this very pretty scantilly dressed lady of about Thirty
from outside Havanna Browns niteclub one night at about 2am.
She seemed sober enough getting in to the cab and asked to go
to Doughcloyne (About a Tenner fare).
She chatted away about all sorts till we got to Doughcloyne
and then she started to 'Wilt', slurring "Straight on".
So straight on we went up Spur hill with her telling me all
the time 'Straight on'.
Her head was Nodding as I repeatedly asked her fer directions
and we did a few laps of Spur hill in every direction possible,
eventually ending up in a Cul-de-sac on a Boreen road.
I stopped and turned to her saying "Listen Luv, I just need
you to tell me where you live and I will get you home safe",
I managed to get the words "White Pillars" out of her before
doubling back on to the main Spur hill road.
Then she comes out with "Did we pass the Chipper ?",
I ask "What Chipper ? we are out in the country !",
she sits up and replies with this absolute Pearl "Oh Sorry !
It's the Elephant that threw me, you did see the Elephant didn't you ?".
I eventually found her home after stopping and waking
her at every White-pillared house fer a few miles.
The fare on the meter was 29Euro, but she gave me 32.
And I watched her as she got in home safely.
