Irish Taxi Forum
Public Area => Taxi Talk => Topic started by: john m on January 28, 2018, 02:00:51 pm
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Crossing over the Liffey at the Salmon Leap pub last night a Heron appeared over the wall of the bridge and dropped a small trout on to the bonnett of the car frightened the life out of me I nearly hip the bridge swerving to avoid the big arkward fucker.
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Crossing over the Liffey at the Salmon Leap pub last night a Heron appeared over the wall of the bridge and dropped a small trout on to the bonnett of the car frightened the life out of me I nearly hip the bridge swerving to avoid the big arkward fucker.
Dinner?
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Your were trout n about
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I'd say there was a brown trout in his trousers when it land on his bonnet!!
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I'd say there was a brown trout in his trousers when it land on his bonnet!!
not far wrong Hal dont know who got the bigger fright me or the big chicken them things are huge
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Was delivered car damaged atall
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The Grey Heron is one of this worlds top predators. The Heron may well have spent up to an hour waiting to catch that small trout, why would he then fly up and drop it on some taxi bonnet ? That seems ludicrious !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDf3HT5Ie24 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDf3HT5Ie24)
It would be like a taxi driver working all night fer his Deuce and then going to a Casino and blowing it all !!
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It would be like a taxi driver working all night fer his Deuce and then going to a Casino and blowing it all !!
There was one chinese driver in particular,he drove a red Mondeo,that would be parked up outside Colossus casino on Montague St at the end of the night,he was a regular that's for sure!!
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I don't like stereotypes but dem Chinese do like a gamble.
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Going back a few years I picked this couple and an aulone up. Dropped the aulone off and the man and woman were going on to their own gaff. I knew I'd picked them up just once before because i remembered making a drop to the aulone's house but I did'nt talk to any of them on that occasion. It was Father's day and they were chit chatting amongst themselves. Then your woman in the back says to me "did you do anything with your father today yourself?" No I say, he died a few years ago unfortunately. "Do you communicate with him?", she says. Thinking she misheard me, I say no he passed away a good while ago. "I know, but do you communicate with him?" Eh, no...
The husband beside me nudges me and with a grin on his face says watch this.
Your woman goes quiet and closes her mince pies. What the fuck is this about I'm thinking.
Then she says the name of my aunt who lives in america, a fairly uncommon name, and she gets it in one go. Even more baffling she picked up on the different nuances of the name as our familys pronounce her name differently on both sides of the Atlantic. My ears prick up wondering how the fuck she knew that.
"Do you know somebody by that name." I do as it happens. "Its your aunt is'nt it." The fuck?
Then she says "somebody named Angelina told me."
Angelina. Angelina Jolie?
"Does that name mean anything to you?"
Nah, you blew it love you had me going there for a second. Game over.
But fairly amazing fluke guessing my aunt's name I thought to myself. I dropped them off and your woman says I should communicate with the aufla every once and a while. Yeah I'll do that, ye headcase...
A couple of weeks later I was chatting to the mother and I say does my aunt in america know somebody called Angelina. "Yeah of course thats her sister in law Angelina that died a couple of years ago. They were very close. Why?"...Eh, no reason.
Anyway, your woman told me her name was bernie stokes. I googled her and her face came up. Apparantly she's a clairvoyant and does seances and all that lark. I'm very stumped how she did it. Never told nobody about it cause they'd think I'd finally gone round the bend. The only logical explanation is the first time I had them around 2 years previously she jotted down my name and went to town digging up info but I'm not one of these clowns that posts their lives on Facebook or any of that stuff. So like I said I don't know how she did it and it's very strange.
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A base job late one night/early morning 4.30am to a Cork city hotel,
I arrive and walk in to the reception, but there is no one about
so I walk in to the still crowed residents bar to see a tall man
giving an elderly lady a piggyback around the bar.
I catch the barmans eye and he nods 'Smirking' at the couple
prancing around the bar.
"TAXI" ! shouts the barman and the lady dismounts her steed,
says her goodbyes and follows me out to my cab.
She is about Sixty, still a fine fit woman and still quite pretty,
but still she's Sixty !
She sits in to the back seat and starts rubbing/fondling my arm
telling me "I'm just waiting fer da young couple, were going back
fer a Threesome".
I'm thinking 'Yea, sure, C'mon, load up and lets be going'.
Her young stud arrives out, the same fella that was giving her
the piggyback around the residents bar and he sits in the back,
he is a tall well built man aged about Forty.
The lady asks him "Where's Ca ?",
He slurs "She's inside somewhere",
She hooshes him off back inside to go and bring Ca out and then she
turns to me excitedly telling me that "She hasn't had a Threesome
since her husband left her". She rattles on for a few more minutes
about her ex husband before she also goes back in to the hotel
to find yerman and Ca.
They arrive back out, yerman and the lady carrying a very drunken
Ca between them. Ca was also about Forty, frumpy and most likely
never had or never would win any type of beauty pageant.
Ca was loaded in to the seat behind me and slumped up against
the cab door as soon as it was closed, the old lady sat in the middle
and yer man was last to sit in the back and I then drove on heading
for the high northside.
A quick peep in to the back as I was exiting the hotel to check on my
customers, I noticed Two large male hands on both of the old ladies
breasts and as I drove on I could see any amount of groping going on
in the back. Fifty yards down the road and the old lady was straddled
up on his lap with her tongue down his throat.
A few minutes down the road and the lady pulls back from him
exclaiming out loud "Ya bit me tongue ya durty bastard !"
He s[]'s, She laughs. Then she turns her attentions to a sleeping Ca,
"C'mon, Wake up Ca, we can't have a Threesome wiv only Two !"
Ca mumbled something drunkenly incoherent as the lady groped her and
this all continued for the next Ten minutes or so till we arrived at their home.
I was half-expecting to be invited in and I had my plan ready, otherwise it
would be a Ten minute drunken debate of why I wouldn't come in.
The lady starts "Sure why don't ya come in and join us Mr Taximan ?"
Yer man then says "Yea, de more de merrier, ya can have de wife !"
and adds "Ya can give it ta her in de hole while she's asleep !".
I ask fer my Sixteen Euro fare which yerman pays with a Twenty
and a 'Keep the change'.
The lady starts again "Ar ya coming in so fer a birra fun ?"
I reply "Ah go on so, let ye head in and I'll park up the car and follow ye in".
They carried Ca from the cab, I drove away and U-turned at the end of the
estate and drove back past them at speed averting my eyes from the scene
and the depressing the thoughts of what was about to take place inside.
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Going back a few years I picked this couple and an aulone up. Dropped the aulone off and the man and woman were going on to their own gaff. I knew I'd picked them up just once before because i remembered making a drop to the aulone's house but I did'nt talk to any of them on that occasion. It was Father's day and they were chit chatting amongst themselves. Then your woman in the back says to me "did you do anything with your father today yourself?" No I say, he died a few years ago unfortunately. "Do you communicate with him?", she says. Thinking she misheard me, I say no he passed away a good while ago. "I know, but do you communicate with him?" Eh, no...
The husband beside me nudges me and with a grin on his face says watch this.
Your woman goes quiet and closes her mince pies. What the fuck is this about I'm thinking.
Then she says the name of my aunt who lives in america, a fairly uncommon name, and she gets it in one go. Even more baffling she picked up on the different nuances of the name as our familys pronounce her name differently on both sides of the Atlantic. My ears prick up wondering how the fuck she knew that.
"Do you know somebody by that name." I do as it happens. "Its your aunt is'nt it." The fuck?
Then she says "somebody named Angelina told me."
Angelina. Angelina Jolie?
"Does that name mean anything to you?"
Nah, you blew it love you had me going there for a second. Game over.
But fairly amazing fluke guessing my aunt's name I thought to myself. I dropped them off and your woman says I should communicate with the aufla every once and a while. Yeah I'll do that, ye headcase...
A couple of weeks later I was chatting to the mother and I say does my aunt in america know somebody called Angelina. "Yeah of course thats her sister in law Angelina that died a couple of years ago. They were very close. Why?"...Eh, no reason.
Anyway, your woman told me her name was bernie stokes. I googled her and her face came up. Apparantly she's a clairvoyant and does seances and all that lark. I'm very stumped how she did it. Never told nobody about it cause they'd think I'd finally gone round the bend. The only logical explanation is the first time I had them around 2 years previously she jotted down my name and went to town digging up info but I'm not one of these clowns that posts their lives on Facebook or any of that stuff. So like I said I don't know how she did it and it's very strange.
She's well known for her talents....don't dismiss it as chance...there was a psychic dwarf escaped from Newcastle psychiatric hospital some time ago....cops announced there was a small medium at large.
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It would be like a taxi driver working all night fer his Deuce and then going to a Casino and blowing it all !!
There was one chinese driver in particular,he drove a red Mondeo,that would be parked up outside Colossus casino on Montague St at the end of the night,he was a regular that's for sure!!
Summer time after 3 am.....he'll be outside that seedy kip on Fitzwilliam...clever the way he parks though...almost think he was courting customers.
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There's plenty of taxis outside the Fitzwilliam...not plying for hire...every night.
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Ah yes but this guy is psychic....he wins every fucking night. Parked up outside the something whizzkid office there across the rd last summer to take a Barry White one night and there he was....about 50 redbacks in his lámh. Anyways....fella tells his mate he almost met a psychic bird online,,,,she left him before they met.
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She was probably a mad bitch anyway...sure they all are!!
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I collected this very pretty scantilly dressed lady of about Thirty
from outside Havanna Browns niteclub one night at about 2am.
She seemed sober enough getting in to the cab and asked to go
to Doughcloyne (About a Tenner fare).
She chatted away about all sorts till we got to Doughcloyne
and then she started to 'Wilt', slurring "Straight on".
So straight on we went up Spur hill with her telling me all
the time 'Straight on'.
Her head was Nodding as I repeatedly asked her fer directions
and we did a few laps of Spur hill in every direction possible,
eventually ending up in a Cul-de-sac on a Boreen road.
I stopped and turned to her saying "Listen Luv, I just need
you to tell me where you live and I will get you home safe",
I managed to get the words "White Pillars" out of her before
doubling back on to the main Spur hill road.
Then she comes out with "Did we pass the Chipper ?",
I ask "What Chipper ? we are out in the country !",
she sits up and replies with this absolute Pearl "Oh Sorry !
It's the Elephant that threw me, you did see the Elephant didn't you ?".
I eventually found her home after stopping and waking
her at every White-pillared house fer a few miles.
The fare on the meter was 29Euro, but she gave me 32.
And I watched her as she got in home safely.
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With Celtic Tiger II taking hold there's probably plenty of drunks playing holdem in the casinos again... easy pickings for a Sober Chinaman.
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I would often be around fer the Aircoach Dublin/Cork arrival in the early hours of the morning
and it's sad to see the amount of taxies parked up across the road outside the Macau casino.
A full nights Taxi work done and prob with childer at home and a mortage to pay and after they
get their few quid, they are in to the casino where 4 nights out of 5 they will lose their lot before
going home and telling de Missis lies about how quiet it was last night.
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With Celtic Tiger II taking hold there's probably plenty of drunks playing holdem in the casinos again... easy pickings for a Sober Chinaman.
;) Yep...in one..Tell Roy that next time he's throwing his loafers at Stanley behind the counter at The Lucky Star. Kung Po Duck..."Duck wi a black belt...no funny".