The Dirt

[mercenary for hire]

When I go to the shops I don't put the milk and bread on the seats anymore.Me brain is scarred for good.

[Tony]

I picked up a nice man with a walking stick a few weeks ago going to the post office to collect his pension.When he got out and his shirt lifted I noticed he had a lot of dry skin on his lower back, all very red looked like some sort of skin condition.Almost like he'd been scalded or severe sunburn.

Put the hazards on while I was waiting looking at me mobile then I copped it, a full layer of broken skin on the seat.It looked like someone crushed up a load of icing and scattered it.That was the closest I came to barfing in me own car.Good tipper but still wasn't worth the clean up.I didn't have the heart to say it to him.Enjoy yer lunch lads.

Thats a soilage charge right there.

[mercenary for hire]

Ever since it happened I've been having flashbacks....barf..Maybe that's why I wanna change me car now.

[Octavia1]

I picked up a nice man with a walking stick a few weeks ago going to the post office to collect his pension.When he got out and his shirt lifted I noticed he had a lot of dry skin on his lower back, all very red looked like some sort of skin condition.Almost like he'd been scalded or severe sunburn.

Put the hazards on while I was waiting looking at me mobile then I copped it, a full layer of broken skin on the seat.It looked like someone crushed up a load of icing and scattered it.That was the closest I came to barfing in me own car.Good tipper but still wasn't worth the clean up.I didn't have the heart to say it to him.Enjoy yer lunch lads.

Thats a soilage charge right there.

Wat if a leper got in? And left bits?  Heed have have ya up for discrimination

[Octavia1]

Jeezs we'r am I going wit this

[Dr. Martin Gooter Bling]

I posted this before.
this old fella got in the back and I headed off.
but as I pulled off the rank I was hit in the face with this incredible bang. like a lump of rotten cheese.
he turned out to be a tramp.
lowered the window down and I started gagging.
your man says sorry about the smell son, I have a bad leg.
I went about three hundred meters and said sorry old timer you'll have to jump out.
got him out but the fuckin smell would'nt go away.
I got the wipes out and the spray half a dozen times separate times but I could'nt get rid of the bang over the next couple of hours.
the next day in the daylight I opened the back door. I can't fuckin believe it. the back of the car was still banging.
then I noticed some dried in gick on the floormats.
I put my nose close to it and it was the source of the odour.
had to get a new set of mats.
gangrene dripping off his leg.

[stonethecrows]

I posted this before.
this old fella got in the back and I headed off.
but as I pulled off the rank I was hit in the face with this incredible bang. like a lump of rotten cheese.
he turned out to be a tramp.
lowered the window down and I started gagging.
your man says sorry about the smell son, I have a bad leg.
I went about three hundred meters and said sorry old timer you'll have to jump out.
got him out but the fuckin smell would'nt go away.
I got the wipes out and the spray half a dozen times separate times but I could'nt get rid of the bang over the next couple of hours.
the next day in the daylight I opened the back door. I can't fuckin believe it. the back of the car was still banging.
then I noticed some dried in gick on the floormats.
I put my nose close to it and it was the source of the odour.
had to get a new set of mats.
gangrene dripping off his leg.

Or Gic dripping from his Hole 

[Bob Shillin]

About 8 years ago, 2 guys picked up from Renards, (may have told this before) both well cut. Thought that the front seat guy farted because of the smell. "I'm out here", as he walked across the street i noticed the back of his trousers,an then looked at the six inch circle of chocolate mousse on the seat. Headed straight for a garage to get some paper to clean, more important than going after yer man.

[stonethecrows]

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall the worst day of your life?"





















The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"