What advice would you give to drivers ?

[John m]

Know nobody :If a passenger asks me do I know another driver or a person I ALWAYS SAY NO .Or I explain that I always say no .A mate of mine who drives a taxi had a fare one night asked where you from he replies Clondalkin .Yer man says do you know Billy ££££££ my mate says yes he lives on my road ,then he adds Billy left his bird is living in Finglas now .What he didnt know was the passenger knew Billy because he had an affair with his wife and they split up .But the passenger didnt know Billy was now living in his gaff with his bird and he was still paying the Mortgage on it until the Divorce was settled .Anyhoo My mate is in the Pub a few weeks later and gets a clatter of a Pint Cider Bottle off Billy who says you need to shut your fucking mouth and dont be discussing my business in your taxi .So my advice is Know Nobody as you never know who you are talking to .

[Belker]

John M, that makes no sense, I read it about 5 times and can't figure out who is who in it all ??

[John m]

If somebody asks me do I know X I always say no .In some cases I explain why I say no as certain people think you are being a smart cunt if you just say no I dont know anybody .In the area I work knowing how to know nothing  keeps you safe .

Billy was riding another fellas bird she got caught and was getting divorced .Her Husband moved out of the Gaff but was still paying his share of the mortgage until the divorce was settled and the gaff could be sold .He didnt know Billy had moved in to a gaff he was paying for .He confronted His Bird and billy worked out who had told him and gave the tell tale a smack of a Bulmers Bottle for ratting . Do you understand that or will I give it to you as a Big Dommo Yarn .

[Bubba Ho-Tep]

Yer man left his bird cos Billy was having an affair with her.

He knew Billy was having affair.

His bird lives in Finglas.

Yer man knew Billy was from/living in Clondalkin.

Yer man finds out from Erm`s mate Billy is out of his gaff and moved into nest in Finglas.

The nest in Finglas is being financed by yer man.

Yer man tells his ex bird she can whistle for mortgage cos Billy is pissin in his ex toilet cos Erm`s mate told him.

Yer man`s bird tells Billy.

Billy buys a pint bottle of cider.

Billy gives it to Erm`s mate.

HTH.

[John m]

Yer man left his bird cos Billy was having an affair with her.

He knew Billy was having affair.

His bird lives in Finglas.

Yer man knew Billy was from/living in Clondalkin.

Yer man finds out from Erm`s mate Billy is out of his gaff and moved into nest in Finglas.

The nest in Finglas is being financed by yer man.

Yer man tells his ex bird she can whistle for mortgage cos Billy is pissin in his ex toilet cos Erm`s mate told him.

Yer man`s bird tells Billy.

Billy buys a pint bottle of cider.

Billy gives it to Erm`s mate.

HTH.

Excellent summation very articulate and relays the anxt ridden dilemma of squatters in your Finglas Gaff .

[Belker]

Yer man passenger left his bird cos Billy was having an affair with her.

He passenger knew Billy was having affair.

His passenger/Billy's bird now lives in Finglas.

Yer man passenger knew Billy was from/living in Clondalkin.

Yer man passenger finds out from the Taxi driver Erm`s mate Billy is out of his gaff and moved into his old nest in Finglas.

The nest in Finglas is being financed by yer man passenger.

Yer man passenger tells his ex bird she can whistle for mortgage cos Billy is pissin in his ex toilet cos Erm`s mate the Taxi driver told him.

Yer man's passenger bird tells Billy.

Billy buys a pint bottle of cider.

Billy gives it to Erm`s Taxi driver mate.

HTH.

Is that it ?

Is there a prize fer decephering Doob to english ?

[silverbullet]

Yer man left his bird cos Billy was having an affair with her.

He knew Billy was having affair.

His bird lives in Finglas.

Yer man knew Billy was from/living in Clondalkin.

Yer man finds out from Erm`s mate Billy is out of his gaff and moved into nest in Finglas.

The nest in Finglas is being financed by yer man.

Yer man tells his ex bird she can whistle for mortgage cos Billy is pissin in his ex toilet cos Erm`s mate told him.

Yer man`s bird tells Billy.

Billy buys a pint bottle of cider.

Billy gives it to Erm`s mate.

HTH.

Perfect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZYa_KfLTtM

[Tony]

Know nobody :If a passenger asks me do I know another driver or a person I ALWAYS SAY NO .Or I explain that I always say no .A mate of mine who drives a taxi had a fare one night asked where you from he replies Clondalkin .Yer man says do you know Billy ££££££ my mate says yes he lives on my road ,then he adds Billy left his bird is living in Finglas now .What he didnt know was the passenger knew Billy because he had an affair with his wife and they split up .But the passenger didnt know Billy was now living in his gaff with his bird and he was still paying the Mortgage on it until the Divorce was settled .Anyhoo My mate is in the Pub a few weeks later and gets a clatter of a Pint Cider Bottle off Billy who says you need to shut your fucking mouth and dont be discussing my business in your taxi .So my advice is Know Nobody as you never know who you are talking to .

Me head hurts

[silverbullet]

Know nobody :If a passenger asks me do I know another driver or a person I ALWAYS SAY NO .Or I explain that I always say no .A mate of mine who drives a taxi had a fare one night asked where you from he replies Clondalkin .Yer man says do you know Billy ££££££ my mate says yes he lives on my road ,then he adds Billy left his bird is living in Finglas now .What he didnt know was the passenger knew Billy because he had an affair with his wife and they split up .But the passenger didnt know Billy was now living in his gaff with his bird and he was still paying the Mortgage on it until the Divorce was settled .Anyhoo My mate is in the Pub a few weeks later and gets a clatter of a Pint Cider Bottle off Billy who says you need to shut your fucking mouth and dont be discussing my business in your taxi .So my advice is Know Nobody as you never know who you are talking to .

Exec sum: A-closed-mouth-catches-no-flies.

[John m]

FFS Kenneth .Big Dommos mate Happy Flynn married Doreen O Brien they both lived in the flats but had delusions of grandure so bought an appartment (flat) in Finglas where they were blissfully happy for a while .Doreen got itchy Gee so needed to wander and was getting serviced by Billy from Clondalkin .Happy found out, discussed it with Big Dommo one night down the flats when we were playing Ponners with Billy the Bastard ,meself ,Tommy Two Scars and Declan the Cunt ,he was out on Tempory Release .Dommo said give it the elbow but make sure if you move out you pay your share of the Mortgage so the banks dont grab it back or she says you deserted the family home and she has assumed sole residency by means of paying the full fare .

 Now Happy didnt know Doreen had moved the lover into his part owned and paid for Gaff .But when he found out he informed his Legal assassin (solicitor ) who got a removal order to get Billy out of the gaff as Happy was still a tenant by means of ponying up the necessary .Now Billy worked out who told Happy he was in residence and dealt with the issue by means of a One Pint Bulmers Irish Cider Bottle applied to the head in the Steering Wheel Pub now called something else .If the Taxi driver had not of volunteered the information as to Billys residential status no Cider Bottle incident need of occured but he didnt and it did .

[Belker]

That is indeed a much better explained story, if'n you want to hold your audience then a tale needs to be explained in detail rather than have your viewers wondering about what you meant with your undecipherable sentences.

[Shallow Hal]

Imagine standing in front of him listening to that fukin tale.....you'd have to revert to the fluffy white rabbit....or ridin some awful lookin brazzer thoughts!!

[John m]

That is indeed a much better explained story, if'n you want to hold your audience then a tale needs to be explained in detail rather than have your viewers wondering about what you meant with your undecipherable sentences.

 Dublin blokes wat read it knew it rite away kos they know dat sort of stuff goes on .So what sage advice would you give to your colleagues ?

[Belker]

If your really asking ? Which I doubt !
Then read over the story more than once to see would it make perfect sense to another reader ?

Explain your characters, as in why is Happy Flynn called Happy and Billy the Bastard called a Bastard ?
I once had Tommy no-balls and Jimmy the Skunk as characters in my tales but I explained in detail to my readers as to how they had acquired their nicknames.

[John m]

I told you this already Billys mammy had him before she was married in less enlightened times when the Parish Priest use to visit the School he would refer to Billy as Billy the Bastard .Happy Flynn was the sort of fella who liked everybody always happy .Tommy Two Scars fell of his bike and cut both his knees and was left with two scars .The one we dont mention his name was John so was his father so we called him Junior but his mother use to give out to us when we knocked for him and asked was Junior comming out she would say his name is not Junior so we just dont call him anything as we wont be bullied by his oulone .Declan the Cunt is lowlife messes with kids but Big Dommos sister has a kid with him so we tolerate him a bit .