New Toyota Corolla assessment

[Dr. Martin Gooter Bling]

Pros:

1. Automatic gearbox. Never driven an auto car before. Absolute dream to cruise around in. Like whizzin around in a go-cart.
2. Excellent fuel economy. Stated 60mpg. There's 3 drive modes - eco, normal and sport. I keep it in sport it gives the car a lovely bit of punch to get going from a stop. Real world driving between normal roads and motorway usage solid 50mpg. I'd say 60mpg is attainable if you stay in eco mode.
3. Aulwans love it. The male and the female variety.


Cons:

1. Keyless fob entry. Was'nt a fan initially. Where do you rest the key. I put it in my shirt pocket. Also if you forget something you can go back inta the mansion with the keys and leave the car running with the heat on etc.
2. Engine is very quiet. Never realised how much i like the grrrrrrr blup blup blup grrrrrrrr of a diesel engine. On the plus I speak very softly like Clint Eastwood so cunts can hear me now but ye can also hear the mad voices that scream over and over in your head.
3. Very limited stash places. In a stayra shock there was no little drawer for coins. Bought a little coin organiser and velcroed it neatly beside the steering wheel. Very small glovebox. Shallow center console stash compartment as well.
4. Seatbelt alarms. Broke the world record for the amounta times i hadta say will ye throw a fuckin belt on please. Realised that 75% of cunts don't wanna wear a belt. Pissheads and belts don't jive. A lorra times I gave up and just drove around listenin to BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP. Mechanic and the bogeys in Denis Mahoney would'nt turn them off. loada bollocks. If ye put someone through the windscreen the insurance crowd will wanna know who turdind them off for ye etc. I'll throw yiz a wunner each. No joy. Hadta duck out of the game for the guts of 2 weeks until i got an OBD yoke and disabled them. I fuckinnnnnnnnnnn love lookin down at the instrumental panel and seeing all the red seat belt lights goin 90 and not a fuckin peep in the car. I think of the torture i went through the first month I had the car.
5. Damned listenin to cunts sayin is this car lectric/hybird.
6. Mirrors are muck. Very small.
7. Car is very low which i presume is a nod to the fuel efficent hybrid aerodynamic streamlined thinking. When i got the car gettin in i caught myself goin "Oh be te fuckahhhhhhhhhhhhh" and when i was gerrin out "Yeeearghhhhupowadahhhhhhhhh."
She saysta to me you're makin a lorra fuckin noise in the garden. Hope ye did'nt make a bollocks of yourself buyin that car. The NTA are probably gonna extend the age rules anyway ye shaggin eejit ye. Also it's not uncommon in fact it's fairly standard for cunts out in the field to hit their heads gettin in.
8. The less said about tryna load 4 fat cunts on board the better.

[silverbullet]

Pros:

1. Automatic gearbox. Never driven an auto car before. Absolute dream to cruise around in. Like whizzin around in a go-cart.
2. Excellent fuel economy. Stated 60mpg. There's 3 drive modes - eco, normal and sport. I keep it in sport it gives the car a lovely bit of punch to get going from a stop. Real world driving between normal roads and motorway usage solid 50mpg. I'd say 60mpg is attainable if you stay in eco mode.
3. Aulwans love it. The male and the female variety.


Cons:

1. Keyless fob entry. Was'nt a fan initially. Where do you rest the key. I put it in my shirt pocket. Also if you forget something you can go back inta the mansion with the keys and leave the car running with the heat on etc.
2. Engine is very quiet. Never realised how much i like the grrrrrrr blup blup blup grrrrrrrr of a diesel engine. On the plus I speak very softly like Clint Eastwood so cunts can hear me now but ye can also hear the mad voices that scream over and over in your head.
3. Very limited stash places. In a stayra shock there was no little drawer for coins. Bought a little coin organiser and velcroed it neatly beside the steering wheel. Very small glovebox. Shallow center console stash compartment as well.
4. Seatbelt alarms. Broke the world record for the amounta times i hadta say will ye throw a fuckin belt on please. Realised that 75% of cunts don't wanna wear a belt. Pissheads and belts don't jive. A lorra times I gave up and just drove around listenin to BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP. Mechanic and the bogeys in Denis Mahoney would'nt turn them off. loada bollocks. If ye put someone through the windscreen the insurance crowd will wanna know who turdind them off for ye etc. I'll throw yiz a wunner each. No joy. Hadta duck out of the game for the guts of 2 weeks until i got an OBD yoke and disabled them. I fuckinnnnnnnnnnn love lookin down at the instrumental panel and seeing all the red seat belt lights goin 90 and not a fuckin peep in the car. I think of the torture i went through the first month I had the car.
5. Damned listenin to cunts sayin is this car lectric/hybird.
6. Mirrors are muck. Very small.
7. Car is very low which i presume is a nod to the fuel efficent hybrid aerodynamic streamlined thinking. When i got the car gettin in i caught myself goin "Oh be te fuckahhhhhhhhhhhhh" and when i was gerrin out "Yeeearghhhhupowadahhhhhhhhh."
She saysta to me you're makin a lorra fuckin noise in the garden. Hope ye did'nt make a bollocks of yourself buyin that car. The NTA are probably gonna extend the age rules anyway ye shaggin eejit ye. Also it's not uncommon in fact it's fairly standard for cunts out in the field to hit their heads gettin in.
8. The less said about tryna load 4 fat cunts on board the better.

Happy motoring Doc. Let's hope you never look back...at least with those mirrors!

[watty]

4. Seatbelt alarms. Broke the world record for the amounta times i hadta say will ye throw a fuckin belt on please. Realised that 75% of cunts don't wanna wear a belt. Pissheads and belts don't jive. A lorra times I gave up and just drove around listenin to BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP. Mechanic and the bogeys in Denis Mahoney would'nt turn them off. loada bollocks. If ye put someone through the windscreen the insurance crowd will wanna know who turdind them off for ye etc. I'll throw yiz a wunner each. No joy. Hadta duck out of the game for the guts of 2 weeks until i got an OBD yoke and disabled them. I fuckinnnnnnnnnnn love lookin down at the instrumental panel and seeing all the red seat belt lights goin 90 and not a fuckin peep in the car. I think of the torture i went through the first month I had the car.

Congrats on your new car!  Hate to burst your bubble but the NCT look at the OBD computer nowadays so they're likely to pick up what you've disabled.  Might want to fix it before your NCT when it comes up...

[Bob Shillin]

Wear well, thanks for the review.

[Octavia1]

Love the seat belt alarms an very very  rare some ape ignores them  ....if yu have a collision that alarm cud stop some ape goin tru  you an then the windscreen ....

[Belker]

....4. Seatbelt alarms. Broke the world record for the amounta times i hadta say will ye throw a fuckin belt on please.....

Well wear with your nua purchase DMG.
A few questions as I intend on buying the same car when my license expires;
Does the Beep sound fer the back seatbelts ?
In my 171 Avensis the back seatbelts only beep if the customer pulls at it and then does not engage it, as in if'n they sit in and don't touch the belt then it does not beep in the backseats.

[Belker]

.... 7. Car is very low which i presume is a nod to the fuel efficent hybrid aerodynamic streamlined thinking. When i got the car gettin in i caught myself goin "Oh be te fuckahhhhhhhhhhhhh" and when i was gerrin out "Yeeearghhhhupowadahhhhhhhhh." .....

If'n I may ask DMG, what height are you ?
I'm 5,10 and I have to say after test driving a Corolla a few years ago that it was very slightly cramped.

PS. Thanks fer the informative review.

[Belker]

..... There's 3 drive modes - eco, normal and sport. I keep it in sport it gives the car a lovely bit of punch to get going from a stop. Real world driving between normal roads and motorway usage solid 50mpg. I'd say 60mpg is attainable if you stay in eco mode. .....

I don't have any experience of driving a car with these modes but only to say that I was in Korky's MG EV car last year as a passenger. He showed me the Gazzump that the MG had in Eco mode from a standing start and then in Sport mode, both were pretty spectacular but there wasn't a huge diffence in either mode to me.

Also what warranty and scrappage did you get ?

[Dr. Martin Gooter Bling]

there's a red warning light and beeper for the front passanger and there's 3 separate warning lights and alarms for the rears. when someone gets in the front or the back as soon as you move they go beep.....beep.....beep.....beep.....beep. if they don't belt up after about 15 seconds they go BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP. i'm about 6 foot tall, 12 stone. Athletic build. the car is definately smaller than an avensis but not too much smaller. you can definately notice the difference between eco and sport mode on the car. i did'nt know it had different engine modes but one day i says what the fuck does that button do. slapped it to sport and the punch was felt straight away. i can't remember the warranty details. I'll havta check. i sold my old car to a neighbour. he knew how well i took care of it. cunts would often say is this a new car. so clean and lovely peggy dell.

[Belker]

Thanks fer the update DMG, what kind of seat covers did you get ?
I wanted the leaterette version fer my next intended but they seem unavailable on a Corolla ??

[Dr. Martin Gooter Bling]

i got them here. they fitted them for me but they'll post them out to people to fit yourself. tailor made for the car.
https://seatcovers.ie/product/toyota-corolla-hybrid-saloon-2019-2023-black-heavy-vinyl-leather-3-year-warranty/

[Belker]

i got them here. they fitted them for me but they'll post them out to people to fit yourself. tailor made for the car.
https://seatcovers.ie/product/toyota-corolla-hybrid-saloon-2019-2023-black-heavy-vinyl-leather-3-year-warranty/

Thanks DMG.
I bought a custom made lower back seat cover fer me current Joe, cost 130 delivered. The devils own job to fit the thing, never again. Your Frummer was money well spent.

[Belker]

Toyota dimensions;

2018 Avensis;
Lenght, 187 inches.
Width, 71.3 inches.
Height, 58.3 inches.

2022 Corolla;
Lenght, 182.3 inches.
Width, 70.1 inches.
Height, 56.5 inches.

Prius;
Lenght, 178.7 inches.
Width, 69.3 inches.
Height, 58.6 inches.

[Belker]

The last time I checked (July 2022) the nua Corolla petrol/hybrid/automatic was 28k, today it's 31k !
A 3k increase in 6 months !!

[mercenary for hire]

The estate version is a couple of grand more expensive again and all it takes to build it are a few extra windows.All the manufacturers are taking the piss.I remember looking in at the Toyota site a few years ago and the estate Corolla was 28k delivered.

If ya got all the grants you could have a Tesla for about 24k new.