Excerpt from Taxi Diaries;
Chapter 18. Let's Keep it LEGAL !
I was awoken one Friday night/Saturday morning by my phone ringing
at about 2.30am, I answered the call as I should have been out working
on my second shift since 2am.
A young lady introduced herself as D. and in a proper Cockney accent she
said; "Allo Darlin', ur mate Din gave me ur number fer some late nite alcohol".
So we made a deal for Three bottles of strong white wine to be delivered
to a luxury apartment in Montenotte and set a price of €40,
A Tenner a bottle and a Tenner delivery.
I arrived at the apartment block about Twenty minutes later and rang
her mobile number and she asked;
"Could you please bring up the wine, as I had very little on ! "
Well ! I was up them stairs 'Lickity split' and knocking at her door,
D answered the apartment door and peeped a small blond head out
from behind her door to see me and then she ushered me in to the
apartment. D was a buxom lass about mid Thirties wearing only a black
thong, very tight black bra and a completely see-tru black negligee.
I was brought in to the living room area, where I met two other scantily
dressed ladies relaxing on their respective couches, one was a very
lovely black girl with a hugh rack and the other was a white thinner girl
wearing only black bra and panties, a very pretty girl, but she had the
look that too much substance abuse had been in her life.
All the girls had English accents, the centre coffee table was littered with
empty glasses and wine bottles. D introduced me to the two other girls
and it was a very relaxed atmosphere.
The black girl made a comment about me at one stage, she said,
"The poor man, he doesn't know where to look ! "
and she was so right !
I couldn't help but to notice some Durex condoms on the sideboard
and it was obvious the girls were all prostitutes.
I actually found the Three girls photos on the Escort Ireland website,
I know the photos were real because it's the same phone number listed
for D on her webpage that she rang me on that night. None of the girls
photos did them justice, they where all much prettier in real life.
We did our business and D paid me the Forty Euro for the wine and then
she said to me; "I know I shouldn't ask, but do you know where we might
get some cocaine" ?
I told her; "I don't do drugs at all, but I'll jus try one of my friends for you",
and I rang J a good 'Bootleg vodka' customer of mine and no stranger to
the odd snort, (about 25'ish and a handsome young lad).
J. answered the phone and I asked him if he cud sort the girls wiv a bit
of Blow ?, J said "No problem, wiv a bit of White fer you Ken"
and I told him it was nothing to do with me but the girls were cochere
and there would be No problems.
I handed my phone to D and she made her deal wiv J, My phone was handed
back to me and I made arrangements to collect J from a casino in town at
3.30am and bring him up to the girls apartment where D had insisted on
getting a 'Tester' from J before she paid for the product.
I left the girls apartment at 3.10am and did a fast base job before heading
in to collect J from the casino, I was driving down the South Mall having a
fag in the cab and I saw this Garda checkpoint ahead of me, I held the fag
down by my knee and drove up to the checkpoint.
(€150 on-the-spot fine for Smoking in the Workplace/Taxi).
A middle-aged Guard stopped me and had the briefest of brief glances at
my Tax/NCT and Insurance windscreen discs. I was trying to cover my illegal
truckers steering wheel spinning handle which was illegaly attached to my
steering wheel with my left arm while holding the fag down by my knee with
my right arm, whilst avoiding a 'Panic Attack' !
And the Guard said to me calmly; "Cold tonite isn't it" ?
I replied; "Tis lovely 'n warm in here" !
The guard said; "Quiet tonite isint it" ?
I replied; "Yea, but t'was 'Nuts' last nite for Paddys nite",
I asked him, was he working last nite ?
He replied; "Yea, but I was indoors and t'was grand".
The smoke from my cigarette was now wafting up through the cab
window and my ankle and knee were starting to Tremble on the clutch !
I had a few bottles of Bootleg vodka hidden in the boot of the cab,
I had just sold Three bottles of bootleg wine to Three prostitutes
and I was collecting a drug-dealer Fifty yards away to bring him to
a drug-deal that had been arranged on my phone and this Guard
was mad looking for a Chat from me !!
I eventually got away from the Guard and turned the corner off
the South Mall and drove Twenty yards to the casino to meet J.
I could still see the Flashing Blue lights in my rear view mirror of
the Garda checkpoint when J came out of the casino and told me;
"I'm in a Big card tournament Ken and I'm doing very well",
I.E. hinting at, "You bring up the cocaine and I'll sort you later",
but I'd No interest in that, that would be crossing a big line for
me and One that I'm not or never will be willing to cross.
So I started explaining to J about his female customers in Montenotte
and how there were all in their 'Skimpies' and I think J had, what is commonly
known as 'A touch of a Curious Horn', so J went back in to the casino and
cashed in his chips and arrived back out with his mate K. (also about 25'ish).
K was completely "Off his face" on cocaine, I explained the whole situation
to J and he was fine with it, but his mate in the back-seat K was attempting to
snort more coke while we were driving and spilling most of it on the cab floor.
K was 'Tripping bad' and he was 'Good n Tight' and having dillusions.
He was adamant about there being big Polish lads and Guards in the
apartment ready to beat them up, despite having been told Three or
Four times that it was only Three girls they we were going up to meet.
I dropped the Two lads at the Apartment and rang D to tell her to let
them in and I warned her; "Be gentle with them, there only young lads" !
J paid me a Tenner for the fare from a massive wad that he had won in
the casino. when he cashed in at 3.30am he was up 450Euro, and I left
the Two boys with the English prostitutes.
Thirty minutes later a call from J; "Come 'n collect me Ken",
The girls had given him a Hard time over the quality of the "White" that he
was offering and haggling the price, D had told him "It was burning her nose",
but J insisted it was the best stuff around and told her "To wait for de Kick" !
eventually they bought his product from him, but J was pissed off because
of all the haggling and he wanted Out.
I collected him from the apartment block, but no sign of his mate K,
J rang K on his mobile and K said 'He was staying',
so myself and J headed home back to the other side of the city.
J hooked up with his girlfriend and paid me another Tenner for the fare.
I headed for home in the thought of getting a few hours sleep,
before I met an old girlfriend to engage in yet another illegal activity
of taking stones from a beach at 8am the next morning to make a rockery
for her garden. I was into bed at 4.45am, but I left the phone on in case
I was late for the morning skulduggery.
I got another call at 6am from D the prostitute asking if I could call
and collect the other lad, at first I refused and told her I would send
another cab up for him, but I then thought better of it and I may aswell
see the whole story through, so I outed my bed yet again and I collected
young K from the apartment at 6.15am, he seemed to have regained
some of his wits about him.
K went on to tell me stories along his way home Southside of how he was
just sitting in the living room with the girls 'Having the craic' and a few lines
of coke and a few glasses of wine and there were male clients coming and
going all night, the girls were coming in and out wearing different costumes,
but mostly in suspender belts and at one stage D came in with a Whip !
K said an old fella (about Sixty-Five) came in about 5am and tottered off
to one of the bedrooms. He said he could hear the beds creaking and
bouncing quite easily from the living room all night long.
K asked for a 'Quickie' on credit a few times, but the girls refused him,
telling him that 'He was too young for them' !
The girls had pulled K's top off him at one stage, just for fun and the
black girl had told him that he was 'Pigeon chested'!
He was very insulted by that remark, so he let loose and shouted at them
"YE ARE ALL ONLY OLD BRASSERS !". I think that is why he was asked to leave.
So I drove K over to other side of the city and got another 13Euro off him.
31Euro profit on the wine + 3 fares 33Euro= 64Euro for about an hours work.
But the Story, Priceless !
