New fare moans

[john m]

Ermy ya could have done a turn at the rank on College green...but I get ya..or ya could have gone down George's street>Exchequer then dropped off either on Dame court or came out the lane opposite the Bender pub then yer there.I'd get lost in Clondalkin these days so it's hard to know everywhere.

If yer man was being a nob he could get ya done for taking a circuitus route.

Traffic congestion on Dame Street I avoided it as my client seemed eager to reach the Globe .Thats the thing about taxi drivers we calculate the best rout based on our experience .Thank you for your alternate rout I shall consider it the next time .Have you ever tried to follow a rout on Waze with traffic alert turned on ?It would be easier to make a jigsaw in the dark .A lot of passengers now put the destination into their phone to check you are going the RIGHT way when what the really mean is the GOOgle way .I had a pick up in Sallins just at the rear of the K club put the address into Waze it wanted me to go via dunboyne   as waze is a social app it learns from previous use so whoever went to my destination last must of traveled from Dunboyne .Now when I take a job on the app I usually flick through the destination line to the pick up point a lot of times there is a shorter rout than the one recommended on screen .You still cant beat a bit of local knowledge when it comes to doing this job right .

Imagine the crack when the driverless cars start up and slavishly follow an ap route   

Traffic updates Congestion on James Street as an ambulance tries to get a little girl into hospital to have some beads or a pencil removed from her nose and the driverless is heading to Johns Lane Church for evening mass .........Congestion ...congestion please use alternate rout around the back of Guinnes more traffic congestion as an ambulance heading up the SCR with a young fella who fell down the stairs struggles to get to the childrens hospital .Autonomous car goes into a holding pattern driving in and out of the Mary Akenhead flats .

[Shallowhal]

Picked an arsehole up last week on Mespil Rd at 18.47 goin to the port,traffic was absolute shite,i could hear him sighing with discontent in the back,asked him what time his flight was at...19.40,i said if i'd known that i wouldn't have accepted the fare,anyways when we got to the M1 it was absolute muck so i shimmied up through Santry village and he nearly had a fukin seizure..."Waze is sayin straight on".....i turned my head slightly to the left as if to say something but knew the words i was about to utter might have inflamed the moment...got him there at 19.22,he says "we'll see if your way worked!"....i just said "fuk off"

[Rat Catcher]

Google is pretty good at selecting the line of least resistance taking live traffic, etc into account.

There's some customer service tips in the Uber app that you might find useful, Hal.

[Shallowhal]

Google is pretty good at selecting the line of least resistance taking live traffic, etc into account.

There's some customer service tips in the Uber app that you might find useful, Hal.

Oh yeah....like what, vulgar or rude words that shouldn't be used in an altercation with a non irish person?

[Rat Catcher]

Haven't looked at them in any detail but I suspect not telling the client to fuck off is probably in there!

[Shallowhal]

Haven't looked at them in any detail but I suspect not telling the client to fuck off is probably in there!

I wonder what tips are on the passenger app?...let us know!

[Cool Boola]

They seemed to be all too pissed last night to notice anything.

[Belker]

Haven't looked at them in any detail but I suspect not telling the client to fuck off is probably in there!

I wonder what tips are on the passenger app?...let us know!

Ya gotta learn how to bite your tongue Hal !
Someday you will come across some proper P.C. Prick/Bitch
and you may well be within your rights to tell them to 'Fook off',
but then they might go to town on you with either MyTaxi or the
NTA or both exadurating the situation to the extreme and landing
you in the Poop !

In this 'Snowflake age' any movement of the drivers hand except
fer changing gear can be seen as Violent and Threathning behaviour,
any use of any curse word is verbal abuse.

[Belker]

My old favourite Chestnut line that has brought howls of laughter from so many male and female customers over the years was sadly curtailed last Christmas.

I picked up 3 middle-aged women from a house going to a very well-to-do house party about 2KM away, they all had a few drinks on-board and yer wan in the front asks me; "Will we be able to get a taxi home later ?", I tell her; "It will be busy, but just stand out on the road and you should get one", I add in my old Chestnut; "There is only Two things you need to get a taxi late on a weekend night, 'Leg' and 'Cleavage' !", expecting a jovial response.
But No, it wasn't a jovial responce, the responce was; "I'm a solicitor you know, that's a very sexist remark".
I'm on the backfoot Twice over and say to her; "My apologies, it was not my intention to offend you".
Off she goes again; "I'm wearing a jumpsuit, are you suggesting I roll up the legs and rip open the top to show Leg and Cleavage ?",
I reply; "Sorry, lets not go OTT with this, it was just a Witticism and no offence was intended",
She hit back with; "It's you that is OTT with your sexist remarks !",
I reply "OK" and the remainder of the journey is done in silence. The fare was paid and goodbys were not exchanged.

On driving away I thought to myself 'I bet she is single' !

[Shallowhal]

That was sexist Ken...you should have your licence revoked for that remark,

I'm just sorry i didn't stay on the M1, he could have updated the social meeja Waze map while sitting in a pile of shite while his plane taxied to the runway.

[The Liffey Lip]

My old favourite Chestnut line that has brought howls of laughter from so many male and female customers over the years was sadly curtailed last Christmas.

I picked up 3 middle-aged women from a house going to a very well-to-do house party about 2KM away, they all had a few drinks on-board and yer wan in the front asks me; "Will we be able to get a taxi home later ?", I tell her; "It will be busy, but just stand out on the road and you should get one", I add in my old Chestnut; "There is only Two things you need to get a taxi late on a weekend night, 'Leg' and 'Cleavage' !", expecting a jovial response.
But No, it wasn't a jovial responce, the responce was; "I'm a solicitor you know, that's a very sexist remark".
I'm on the backfoot Twice over and say to her; "My apologies, it was not my intention to offend you".
Off she goes again; "I'm wearing a jumpsuit, are you suggesting I roll up the legs and rip open the top to show Leg and Cleavage ?",
I reply; "Sorry, lets not go OTT with this, it was just a Witticism and no offence was intended",
She hit back with; "It's you that is OTT with your sexist remarks !",
I reply "OK" and the remainder of the journey is done in silence. The fare was paid and goodbys were not exchanged.

On driving away I thought to myself 'I bet she is single' !

Thought I was unsubtle.....fuck me ...special needs. 2011 on the Templeogue Rd outside Terenure College: Big girl with a Tangoed look and stinking of hairspray and scrambled eggs gets in and says..."Take me to the action in the city, please". "Grand, says I...trundling along and she remarks, "I had to have breast reduction surgery recently so I'm treating myself to a night out"....Laughing to meself and playing the aul soldier..."No need for me know that but fair play to you"..."What you think of them"...."no interest", says I. "Only go for birds with both tits meself".

[Rat Catcher]

Young ladies can be very forward these days. Picked a scantily clad one up for mytaxi in Coolock a couple of weeks ago, never met her before, first words out of her mouth "Fuck me, it's cold"... just said I forgot my vi*gra and left it at that.

[Belker]

That was sexist Ken...you should have your licence revoked for that remark....

Your right Hal, it was sexist, but it was always good fer a giggle and I got away with it fer many years.
The truth of it is that it is as true as I'm sitting here, if your standing at the side of the road at 'Jungle time'
with a big pair of hooters sticking out, then ya can be sure every Taxi will stop fer you.

[Shallowhal]

The days of Roy Walkers saying on Catchphrase "Say what you see" are long gone.

[The Liffey Lip]

Haven't looked at them in any detail but I suspect not telling the client to fuck off is probably in there!

I wonder what tips are on the passenger app?...let us know!

Ya gotta learn how to bite your tongue Hal !
Someday you will come across some proper P.C. Prick/Bitch
and you may well be within your rights to tell them to 'Fook off',
but then they might go to town on you with either MyTaxi or the
NTA or both exadurating the situation to the extreme and landing
you in the Poop !

In this 'Snowflake age' any movement of the drivers hand except
fer changing gear can be seen as Violent and Threathning behaviour,
any use of any curse word is verbal abuse.

Hypocrisy is an Irish trait....no exadurrating.... there....