Man returns from a holiday in Bangkok and is feeling very ill so he goes to the local hospital for a check-up.
He's sedated in a private room and after tests, he wakes up to his bedside phone ringing.
"Hi, this is your doctor, we've got the results of your tests and you have AIDS, Gonorrhea, Herpes and Syphilis."
"Fucking hell", says the bloke, "what are you going to do?"
"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."
"Will that cure me?"
"No", says the doctor, "but it's the only food we can get under the door."
