Cobh Regatta, No Thanks !
I got a Base job over the radio one Sunday night/Monday morning at 2am,
it sounded like a Plum job at the start but it turned out to be a pox rotten
job for a hotel staff member from around the Carrigtwohill area going just
down the road to Cobh.
A cash job from Cork to Cobh would be about 45Euro, the staff job would
get me all of about 15Euro and I would still end up miles from home.
Anyway I collected the young lady and she told me that No Cobh taxi
company would come out to collect her as the 'Regatta' was on, they all
told her that the town was much too busy. My eyes were getting bigger as
I dropped her home at the thought of a 'Busy town'.
She offered her usual fare of a Tenner, I took the cash on offer and asked
her to direct me to the town centre, she warned me that the town could be
'Very Rough', I shrugged it off telling her "I'm pretty Rough myself" and
headed on for the town centre at 2.30am.
The place was 'Hopping' as I arrived in my minibus. I got a fare straight away,
a thin young girl sat in the front and Four lads in the back, the girl in the front
was a real rough diamond with a most unpleasant common accent and real
foul language in every sentence that she spoke, the lads in the back starting
winding her up, every time she spoke they would all start shouting and mock
laughing at her, it was all very immature and I really didn't like the boys doing
anything in my cab that I didn't like.
We dropped the girl off first at a council estate on the top of some hill
and she told the lads that they couldn't come in to her home, so the lads
by now all roaring and shouting well pumped up, asked to be brought
back to town, "Grand" I said, "There's 11Euro on the meter and another
Nine to get ye back to town, that's a Fiver a man", the boys all agreed,
again all going off in to the same idiotic silly carry-on shouting and
laughing, with one particular idiot banging himself off the seats and
kicking out at the seat in front of him, while trying to cover his face
with his tee-shirt whenever I looked back at him
One lad agreed the price saying they would pay when they were back in
town, "No" I said, "Ye pay now, or I'm heading for Cork and passing the
town", after much more heated debate, I told them to "Get out", but
they wouldn't, so I put the boot down and headed back for Cobh town.
I dialled 11850 on my phone and got patched through to Cobh Garda
station, the boys were roaring in the background trying to drown me out
but I could still hear the guard on the phone and he could still hear me,
I had my sat nav turned on so I was able to give the guard my location
as we sped down East hill in Cobh.
I wasn't stopping or slowing for anything so as not to allow the boys a
chance to open the door and run, as we sped through the town, the back
door was opened and one lad shouted; "Stop, Stop my mate fell out",
I don't know if he did fall out or not but I didn't stop, I didn't know exactly
where the Garda station was only that it was 100 yards beyond the Train
station. They were the instructions the guard had given me over the
phone telling me that he would have Two gardai waiting outside for me.
I saw the train station ahead of me as one of the scumbags reached
in-between the seats and pulled the handbrake skidding the bus almost
to a standstill, I released the handbrake and hit the accelerator, but alas
the lads were gone the last jumping out just as the bus was picking
up speed again, they ran off up a hill across the road and I would have
loved dearly to have went after them and mown over a couple of them.
I arrived at the Garda station with an empty van and to be fair the senior
guard could not have been more sympathetic to me offering every service
available, I told him; "It's not worth it, there's only 18Euro on the meter
and they are long gone", the guard eventually agreed saying; "Well, to be
honest, it was your welfare we were most concerned about".
He was a most pleasant guard and he told me that since midnight the
place had gone 'Mental'. Thankfully the minibus was undamaged.
I drove back in to Cobh town for Two reasons, Firstly was to collect Two
mature men that I had promised to come back for after the scumbag job
and Secondly to see if any of the boys who ran from me were hanging
about the town, No sign of either party and I drove past Three drunken
flag downs on the main street before I headed back to the city.
On my way home, I saw a big banner on the roadside which read,
'Cobh peoples Regatta, Fun for all the Family'.
I sneered to myself and thought; 'NO THANKS !'.
