Author Topic: a day in the life  (Read 1092 times)

Offline john m

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5400
  • Karma: +0/-0
a day in the life
« on: May 16, 2019, 03:48:30 PM »
Imdown by the pool and the two lads beside me include me in their conversation .One is an Elvis impersonator the other is a Shirley Bassey impersonator .Ladasks me what size FrockdoIthink he wars I havent a clue allI know about frocks is you can get them in Pennys or Charity Shops .So I say I dont know size 20 .I kid you nkt he got up and ran off crying ,Elvis said he is very concious og his weight he takes a 16 in a Gown .

Offline Shallowhal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5119
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2019, 05:14:20 PM »
I just can't get the image of the erm in a pair of speedos out of me head!!

Offline Rat Catcher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12018
  • Karma: +34/-65535
  • Part Time Amateur Scum
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2019, 05:17:41 PM »
Caught in a trap?

Offline markmiwurdz

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 865
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2019, 05:33:14 PM »
Elvis left the building.....

Offline Shallowhal

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5119
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2019, 05:36:28 PM »
The erm is probably the west Dublin crim known as The Budgie....smuggler.

Offline markmiwurdz

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 865
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2019, 05:41:14 PM »
The erm is probably the west Dublin crim known as The Budgie....smuggler.

 lol lol

Offline Dr. Martin Gooter Bling

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1443
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2019, 06:51:31 PM »
The Original G....string.

Offline dalymount

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2369
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2019, 08:59:09 PM »
I think your watching to much Father Ted John,remenber that episode ? The all priests lookalike competition 3 elvissesss

Offline Vikkiz

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1959
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2019, 10:26:07 PM »
Fucking snowflake

Offline Belker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5389
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #9 on: May 16, 2019, 10:37:53 PM »
Ya can't 'Wreck me Buzz' !

It's Saturday morning 4th May 2019, it's 6am in the morning just as I'm finishing my Night time Taxi shift and the electrics on my drivers front window pack up, thankfully the window is closed so I head fer bed and am up again at 9am to get the window sorted, as it a bank holiday weekend most places are closed and the window is not sorted, my Taxi suitability test is due on Tuesday and a malfunctioning window will be an automatic Fail, but I still have Tuesday morning to sort it, but a bad start to the day.

On Saturday morning at 11.30am I get 'Me Buzz' going watching me small fella play an U-18's rugby match final in Independence park between Dolphin and Fermoy.  Kalem had the most magnificent game that in my Four years watching him that I ever witnessed, he scored a solo try himself fending off tackles almost the full lenght of the pitch and in another most daring run zig-zagged the pitch twice whilst baffling the defence before his front line crossed the line, Amazing stuff !
What was more amazing fer me was that after all the on-field celebrations were over his own band of mates came down from the stands to congratulate him, Kalem had the match winning trophy in his hand at this stage and he sez to his mates; "I wanna picture with me Dad" !
And that was me all set up with me 'Buzz' fer the day !!

I'm back off home to bed and then out to work fer 9pm that evening still 'Buzzing'. First job of the night was a 'MyTaxi' app job collecting in Eagle valley in Wilton going to Barrack street, the Two male customers were droning on about how expensive taxies were and asking about customer loyalty discounts as we entered the leafy glades of Togher, as we passed the very lovely council estate of Deanrock a group of youths appeared from behind a wall and took aim at my cab with their eggs, Three direct hits to the front windscreen, passengers side door and back window were enough to quieten the Two customers from their complaints, I dropped my customers to Barrack street without flinching any eye about the egg attack and headed fer the Circle K garage in Douglas fer me Half-price car wash. Job done, 'Buzz' still going !

Kalem I know is gone off to a Captains party in Crosshaven (16 km outside the city) to celebrate their win and the plan was fer him to get the 24 hour bus home to Douglas and fer me to collect him and his mate there and drop him home and his mate over to the Northside, but seemingly he missed the bus and requested to be collected in Crosshaven, I obliged doing a few laps of Crosshaven trying to find him and then bringing his mate home first to the northside before taking him to town to feed him his favourite Hillbilly's 'Breast in a Bun'. All told it cost me an Hour and a half outta a very busy Bank holiday Saturday night. What about it ? 'Buzz' still going !

The next job I pick up off the street is to Carrigaline, the drunk requests to take the link road and I agree in the knowledge that it will add a Fiver to the fare. The fare at his destination is 28 and he gives me Thirty with a "Keep the change". I thank him and then make a Bollix of myself by taking the wrong road home to Cork, I'm half way to Kinsale before I twig my mistake but I think; 'What about it, the Kinsale 7's Rugby is on, surely there be plenty of work in Kinsale', so I drive on fer Kinsale, as I arrive there is drunks walking toward me with food and drink in hand hailing me down, I pass them all on before getting to the town center and pulling in fer what looked liked Two decent sober lads asking to go to Mayfield on the northside of Cork, they both sit in to the back, one of them on his phone trying to coerce another mate to join them but after a minute or so of talking No Joy and we drive off fer Mayfield.
I ask; "What part of Mayfield lads" ?  Only to hear; "Ballinderry park" the absolute Dregs of the Northside, but now I'm stuck, I'm on a country road with Two youths in the back both 30 years my junior, I try to play the game chatting away to them and they did both chat away with the occasional break fer a whisper between the Two of them, then one of them puts up his hood and I knew I was in trouble. Thankfully they both Legged it out the back doors without assaulting or robbing me. 55Euro on the meter, Fookit I can live without it.  'Buzz' just about still going !

A right proper Shitty night after that with the Drunks and Skunks and then a Half a Dozen or so No contacts or Cancellations on the MyTaxi app really pissed me off, the 'Buzz' was starting to lapse, but the last job of the night cheered me up, it was a MyTaxi job fer a mature lady at 6am around the corner from my own home in Greenhills court, she told me she was a 'Tea-addict' and just needed milk fer her tea from the local shop, I fairly 'Bent her Ear' along the short journey but she was a good listener and she really cheered me up on what was a pretty Roller-coaster day and night !

I cashed her in fer a Fiver on a 9Euro account fare, Fookit she cheered me up, I had me 'Buzz' going again !


Offline taxi1990

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 309
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #10 on: May 16, 2019, 10:47:59 PM »
when you heard they were from a kip why didnt you pull in and get the money off them? if they didnt pay up there and then i would drive them back to where i picked them up. that would sicken me, have only ever had 1 runner which was a few years ago, nearly always get money up front from  people i dont know at night. have cameras as well, if someone ever runs on me on a decent fare, they will be up in court over it, i will refuse their money if offered before court.

Offline Belker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5389
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #11 on: May 16, 2019, 11:05:09 PM »
when you heard they were from a kip why didnt you pull in and get the money off them? if they didnt pay up there and then i would drive them back to where i picked them up. that would sicken me, have only ever had 1 runner which was a few years ago, nearly always get money up front from  people i dont know at night. have cameras as well, if someone ever runs on me on a decent fare, they will be up in court over it, i will refuse their money if offered before court.
Your right in what you say but they seemed like pleasant lads and most usually the Rugger Buggers are not short of cash, even so it was a mis-match, Two 25 year old youths versus a 53 year old, I didn't fancy the idea of stopping on a country road to demand payment upfront, but Yes agreed I did make the mistake, I was not On Top of my Game that night.  Lesson Learned !

Offline taxi1990

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 309
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2019, 11:10:41 PM »
i googled Ballinderry park, its some $hit hole alright from the images i saw. if they had cash on them they might have paid if you pulled in half way, who knows. mayfield is where roy keane is from? have you any means of defending yourself in your car if they did attack you?

Offline Belker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5389
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2019, 11:24:08 PM »
I have a Stanley knife to cut the Garden ties off the Hub-caps in case of a puncture !

And a little bottle of Perfume that some Chungwan left in the cab, seemingly it works as good as Mace !

Offline taxi1990

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 309
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: a day in the life
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2019, 11:27:33 PM »
your ok so ;)

 


Show Unread Posts