Author Topic: Bottler is not Well  (Read 1130 times)


Offline Tony

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2019, 09:49:28 AM »
Comedian? Are they having a joke, he's about as funny as ass cancer.
Mr. T-bag to you

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2019, 09:58:00 AM »
An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
 Comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.
 He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
 The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
 Alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
 The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'
 So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
 He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
 The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'
 The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
 A little longer.
 He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found
 Jesus me brother?'
 The drunk again answers, 'No,oi I haven't found Jesus.'
 By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
 The water again ---
 But this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
 Kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
 The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'


 (Are you ready for this????)



















 The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
 Preacher, 'Are you sure dis is where he fell in?'

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2019, 10:00:28 AM »
Two elderly ladies met for the first time since school.
 One asked the other: “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?”
 “Oh yes” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, my third to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”
Her friend asked: “What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?”
 “One for the money, two for the show. Three to get ready and four to go.”

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2019, 10:02:23 AM »
Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
       
      "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner.
       
      "Yep, that's him," came the reply.
       
      The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
       
      "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2019, 10:06:04 AM »
After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
 He looked at her slowly, then said: “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H… I, J, K.”
She asks: “What does that mean?”
He said: “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fancy, Gorgeous, Honey.”
She smiled happily and said: “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”
He said: “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen… but it will get better

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2019, 10:06:56 AM »
And 1 especially for Octy :

In Ireland we have the best sense of humour on the planet and it comes natural to us.
 There’s a good reason for that.  There’s none of us the full shilling

Offline Octavia1

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2019, 11:27:11 AM »
Comedian? Are they having a joke, he's about as funny as ass cancer.

He was OK in his day... He had the restraints of Catholic Ireland to contend with and you cud bring the kids ds along to his shows......
The one that is as funny as arse cancer is Brendan o Carroll...... Comic terrorism

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #8 on: July 03, 2019, 11:35:13 AM »
And what about Auld Sil Fox ?

Offline Tony

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #9 on: July 03, 2019, 12:45:26 PM »
And what about Auld Sil Fox ?

Another waste of oxygen
Mr. T-bag to you

Offline silverbullet

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2019, 03:09:15 PM »
https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)

Offline stonethecrows

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2019, 03:30:59 PM »
https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)
A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream

Offline silverbullet

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2019, 09:06:08 PM »
https://www.msn.com/en-ie/entertainment/celebrity/legendary-comedian-and-singer-brendan-grace-battling-lung-cancer-in-hospital/ar-AADMy09?li=BBr5KbJ
Picked up his daughter from the Red Cow to RTE for a Late Late tribute show to Brendan.
Fucking starter packed up and she helped by giving me a push start!
Fortunately she was built like Brendan. 8)
A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream
https://youtu.be/3dfRZktrIlo 8)

Offline silverbullet

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #13 on: July 03, 2019, 09:10:48 PM »
A guy goes to the Doctor and says  "every morning I manage a bowel movement  religiously at 7am".
Doctor says " Nothing wrong there, what's your problem?"
The guy says

I don't get up til 8!  8)

Offline Cool Boola

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Re: Bottler is not Well
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2019, 12:08:15 AM »
Ran a charity gig in the Embankment in the 70s. Fat fucker was resident so at end of night ..he demanded full fee and bar drinks bill to be taken from profit...Ended up as a near loss.Miserable fat fucker lives in Miami and hauls back to Ireland for his hospital visits.....but I hope he gets well soon

 


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