Ok Im in trouble and Its because of a post I read on Facebook about the history of the Grotto in Inchicore but the last paragraph got me into trouble ,the bit where it said the Priest collected old Gold and Jewelry to melt down to make a Crown for the statue of Our Lady that stand in the Entrance to Grotto Square just above Saint Peter at the front of the Church
.Now I have fallen on hard times .When the Corona virus first happened I thought I would invest all me money in toilet rolls so I took me savings out of me jar borrowed from the Credit Union and even borrowed forty Euro from the Girl Across the road .I ordered a load of Toilet Rolls and was going to sell them because there was a shortage of toilet rolls I paid to much for them as the price of toilet rolls didnt go up as there are loads available so now I have a shed load of Jacks Rolls that nobody wants and an empty fridge .
Im not making excuses but driven by hunger and 9 liters of cheap cider from Lidil I came up with a plan. I would rob the crown from the Statue of Our Lady at the entrance to the Grotto Square .So after sleeping off the drink I drew a plan of attack .I know me way around the Oblates grounds real well as I once stole the baby Jesus from the Crib but I did return it and I did apologist and I was only Six at the time and I did it for the right reason .
So I go into Word on me computer open a page and begin to write me plan and draw out how I will do it . If you record your plans on a computer is that a Cyber Crime ?I will need a ladder to climb up and a hacksaw to cut the crown off and a lend of some roof racks for me car to carry the ladders .So I died me tracksuit black got a pair of black boots and blacked up me face and got ready to go .
Now as I said Im in trouble .Ya see I have been observing the Social Distancing I havent moved from me sofa unless it was to go to bed or for a piss and I havent driven me car for six weeks and as I said I am in trouble .Me car battery is flat and I was wondering is there any chance of a push or a loan of a battery charger ..
P.S. If you live more than 2Km away from me dont offer to help I wouldnt want you to get into any trouble ..