KIDZ !
It's 7.45pm of a Saturday evening and I'm after dropping off a fare in Mahon, as I head back to town I see this young Fella broke down outside Mahon Garda station with a flat as a pancake front tyre, he has the Jack in his hand and looking at it like it was some Alien thing that had just fallen from the sky. Every bone in my body told me "Drive on Cashie, he will be grand", ..... but I couldn't do it to one of my own.
So I stopped and reversed and asked him; "Ya OK dere Head ?",
He replies; "Ah, I think so, I never changed a puncture before",
"Do ya wanna Hand ?",
"Yes, Please !".
So I pulled in behind him with the hazards on and walked up to him, he is about 20 years old, big, tall and stocky young ginger lad, very polite I might add, he sez to me; "What is this thing ?" showing me the Jack.
I tell him; "That is the Jack fer Jacking up the car. I am here to help and advise, you will be doing all the work and I will be telling you what to do, is that OK with you ?",
"Grand Sir, where do I put the Jack ?, there is rut things on it, but where does it go ?".
I have a feel around under the car to find where the Jack is supposed to be placed and invite the lad to feel the same area till he eventually finds the same groove and then I tell him that he needs to put the Jack on to that groove, so he sets about his task and I repeatedly tell him that; "The Jack must be square on the ground".
So he tells me that it is in the groove and square on the ground and he starts twisting on the Jack to lift it, .... 5 minutes later with no sign of the car moving up and the handle on the Jack beating off the ground I had a peep at the Jack and told him; "That is not square, it is at an angle, take it off and start again and this time make it Fookin Square !".
The young lad now panting and most probably wishing to Kill me, did as he was told properly the second time around. As soon as I saw the wheel starting to lift, I told him; "Stop ! now we have to loosen the wheel nuts",
"How do I do that ?",
"Do you have a wheel brace ?"
"Ah, yea, this yoke" he sez showing me the wheel brace very proudly.
"That's it", I tell him; "But most likely you are going to need to jump on the brace to loosen the wheel nuts",
he doesn't believe me and tries to do it by hand, I make no comment and just watch until he eventually concedes and uses his legs to do the job.
All nuts seemingly loosened he sets about jacking up the car fully and I actually did help out by turning the Jack a few times when he was out of breath, with the car jacked up I tell him; "Now you can take the nuts off and do everything gently while the car is up on the jack", 4 of the 5 nuts off and he goes to take the wheel off, I say to him; "No, you must take All the nuts off !", he replies; "But this last one wouldn't come off with the brace and I thought we had enough of them off to take off the wheel !!".
I'm shaking my head in disbelief but my patience is holding; "No, you need to take all the nuts off, as your wheels are alloy's you should have an adaptor screw thing fer that last nut", so he goes rooting in the glove compartment and comes back out triumphantly with this ring nosed towing bolt saying; "Is this it ?", "No, that's not it, that is a screw-in bolt used if your car needs to be towed", he goes off rooting again and finds the adaptor nut thing, "Good lad" I tell him; "Now put that on the brace and loosen the last nut", not a big ask I thought but he couldn't manage it eventually saying; "But it won't go on !", my patience wearing thin but still holding; "It Fookin will, the adaptor goes in the brace then the brace goes on the nut, it ain't that Fookin hard !".
He does get it eventually and I tell him; "Now the car is up on the jack so you need to be very gentle loosening this nut cos if the car falls off the jack then it will do a lot of damage", I might as well of having been talking to Rambo fer all the notice he took of that.
Eventually we got the job done. The tyre was not punctured, the inside rim of the tyre was completely worn with threads sticking out the whole way around. How it had lasted this long was a mystery.
He was a pleasant young lad and offered me a Score fer my time which I refused but made him promise that he must pay-on the same favour another day to someone else in distress which he he agreed to.
On the Bright side I got to use fer once my Safety Triangle that has been in my cab boot fer the past 15 odd years unused, I contemplating putting on the Hi-vis jacket but it was in a plastic Sealed bag and no way was that Seal ever going to be broken.
